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May 30, 2011 | by  | in News Opinion |
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LoL News

Isaiah Doyle and The Appropriate Place For Capital Punishment

in March, A man convicted of Murder, Isaiah Doyle, took the witness stand in the penalty part of his trial. At a point where most people would do something to try and avoid the death penalty, which was already looking likely for Doyle, he instead said to the jurors, “If I had an AK-47, I’d kill every last one of y’all with no remorse”. He did indeed get the death penalty.

Riding On Cars With Kids

Shelly Waddell, 36-year-old Maine resident, has been charged with child endangerment after witnesses reported seeing Waddell’s family van driving along the street with her two children sitting on the roof wrapped in a blanket. Waddell denied the claim but was found guilty. The time of the offence was 3.30 a.m.


there is A place in Florida called Niceville. In this town during last year’s Christmas parade, a city municipal employee climbed on board a city truck that was part of the parade and demanded a co-worker, the driver, to get down from the truck so he could ‘whip [his] ass’ for ‘taking [his] overtime’. The employee was charged with Drunk and Disorderly and was asked not to bring his mates to next year’s Christmas party.

Shovelhead: Artist, Mannequin Collector, Quilter, Traditionalist

Louis ‘Shovelhead’ Garrett, resident of Louisiana, Missouri, sews quilts out of ladies’ underwear. He displayed his latest work at a women’s luncheon in Hannibal, Missouri. The local newspaper reported him as having said, “No polyester. I don’t want those cheap, dollar- store, not-sexy, farm-girl panties. I want classy—silk or nylon.” Garrett is not currently in a relationship.

Yarbrough: Scooter Owner, Charmer, Hero

Adam yarbrough, 22, was booked by a female police officer for reckless driving in Indianapolis, Indiana. He was spotted swerving in and out of traffic on the interstate highway on his scooter. He first tried to “get rid of this ticket” by offering the police officer a five-dollar bribe; he then tried a different approach, asking her, “How about I give you a kiss?” Yarbrough did not get out of the ticket, was charged with felony bribery, and had a whole bunch of drinks bought for him that evening (presumably).

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This Ain’t a Scene it’s a Goddamned Arm Wrestle

: Interior – Industrial Soviet Beerhall – Night It was late November and cold as hell when I stumbled into the Zhiguli Beer Hall. I was in Moscow, about to take the trans-Mongolian rail line to Beijing, and after finding someone in my hostel who could speak English, had decided