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August 15, 2011 | by  | in Opinion |
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LOL News

Man attempts to split atom in kitchen

Throws sharp knife around, hopes for the best

A Swedish man was arrested late last month when he was found attempting to split the atom in his home kitchen.

Richard Handl, who only created the nuclear reactor as a hobby, was charged with unauthorised possession of nuclear material when police were sent to his home by Sweden’s Radiation Authority. Handl had contacted the authority when he realised that his pastime might not actually be legal.

“I have always been interested in physics and chemistry,” Handl said, following his arrest.

“From now on, I will stick to theory.”

Although Handl had created a small meltdown on his stove, police did not detect dangerous levels of radiation in his apartment. Charges have not yet been pressed, but if convicted, Handl could face up to two years in prison.

Conservative relative discovers that young woman is having “the sex”

NZ Herald has shockingly slow news week

A New Zealand woman found out the hard way last week that her 28-year-old relative was in fact sexually active, when she made news headlines for her “sex romp” accident.

Amy Ramage is reported to have nearly severed her hand when she fell and sliced her wrist on the broken edge of a basin, while having sex during a yachting holiday in Croatia.

An unnamed relative of Ramage later came to her defense, doubting the more raunchy elements of the story.

“She’s a good Christian girl. I’ve known her all her life and she has strong principles … I just can’t believe it. It doesn’t sound like Amy at all.”
Since the story first broke at the start of the month there has been no official comment from Ramage, despite the media frenzy the sordid tale has created.

The New Zealand Herald managed to occupy three of their journalists with the mini-scandal, with one story reaching a whopping 450 words, which included extensive and largely irrelevant information about her professional history.

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