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August 15, 2011 | by  | in Opinion |
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Peas and Queses

Dear Auntie,
There’s this guy, he’s in my lecture, and he is très cute. I want some excuse to talk to him, but I don’t know what that is! How do I do this? Should I cut my losses and do nothing? I don’t know! Help!
Love, très shy.

Uncle Daz reckons that guys love it when girls approach them. Especially if they’re hot. I’ve seen you around très shy, and I know you’re hot. It’s an instant ego-boost, and unless he’s already got a girlfriend, he’ll at least indulge your shy whimpers for as long as it’s still making him feel manly. Hopefully that’s long enough for you to start sounding like the cool and intelligent person you are in your head.

Proximity is key. You gotta start getting closer to him in lectures. The ideal would be if you could wrangle your way into the same tutorial as him. But if that’s not possible, try arriving a little late to lectures, scope out his position, and edge in. Alternatively, keep an eye out for him in cafe queues.

Your opening line doesn’t need to be witty or memorable, just audible. It might be something as trivial as asking to borrow a pen or piece of paper. Share his textbook. If you’re lucky enough to land a spot behind him in a queue, just say ‘Hey, you’re in my class, eh? What do you think of the paper?’ You might want to get a little more adventurous and ask him what he thinks of something (e.g. ‘don’t you think it’s weird that we have to take stats for psychology?’ or ‘what did you think of that TS Eliot poem from class today?’) Just act normal.
You just need to start with something, anything—just start talking. From there you can move from the trivial stuff to daily greetings, and eventually warm up to establishing his romantic status and if he might fancy a drink with you.

It’s worth thinking about whether or not you actually want to find out if his brain matches his cuteness though—it can be a gamble. Cute boys can be great motivation for getting to lectures, some getting certain girls through whole sociology degrees. Are you sure you want him to go from motivation to distraction? Or worse, from motivation to bore?
Good luck très shy, hope he’s worth the anxiety!
Love Shaz.

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