Viewport width =
September 5, 2011 | by  | in Opinion |
Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

The Week That Wasn’t – Man sees ex-girlfriend, is totally all good with it

Marcello Rubini was caught short this week when, in a chance meeting, bumped into Emma Furneaux, a flame from years passed. The two enjoyed four minutes of awkward, well-meaning conversation while Rubini’s good friend Frankie Stout, stood by, un-introduced.

The two made plans to meet again in the coming week to “catch-up” for a “coffee”.

When questioned by Salient Rubini maintained that the two were never “involved in like a sex, like, a sex way, you know, romantically or whatever”, but amateur-historian and self-proclaimed sceptic Stout asserted a different account of the pair’s history.

“He loves her! You can tell! He was like, ‘oh uh uh uh uh hey, yeah nah I’ve been great, haha yeah uhhh totally’ like a chump! Oh my god I’m telling everyone, he was all flustered like a totally rude walrus in a library or whatever.”

Rubini admits that early on in their friendship he had a minor attraction to Furneaux but that their relationship was totally “neo-platonic”.

“She was like to me, how like you might have had a good friend who everyone thought … was, like, or that they thought like, you had a crush on her, but now is more like to me like how … you know my mate Claire? You know how we’re like tight as but just as mates? Like that, totally, totally cool, like a sister. But like a friend obviously. Absolutely nothing going on there back then. Or now! Of course, yeah nothing’s changed, love that chick. But like, yeah, you get it, eh?” the stammering 21-year-old eventually managed to get out.

At press time, Rubini was getting changed and incessantly asking his flatmates if they thought that a shirt was “too much” and if he “had time to shower, or would that even be too much, cause, would she be able to tell and think that he had over done it and think [he] liked her, or something”, followed by a wildly awkward and excessively loud laugh.
The pair are due to meet at 4pm at Duke Carvells today, as it is not too loud or busy but not romantic, as he doesn’t “necessarily” want to suggest a “date vibe”.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

About the Author ()

Comments are closed.

Recent posts

  1. Issue 21, Vol 81: Looking Back
  2. Foraging Video Recipes
  3. 5 TV Shows that *Might* Fool Others into Thinking You’re a History Wunderkid
  4. Books With Protagonists Our Age (That Don’t Suck)
  5. Changing Tides
  6. In Defense of the Shitty Sci-Fi Sequel
  7. Avantdale Bowling Club
  8. Medium Playback
  9. The International Angle
  10. The Poo Review
Website-Cover-Photo7

Editor's Pick

This Ain’t a Scene it’s a Goddamned Arm Wrestle

: Interior – Industrial Soviet Beerhall – Night It was late November and cold as hell when I stumbled into the Zhiguli Beer Hall. I was in Moscow, about to take the trans-Mongolian rail line to Beijing, and after finding someone in my hostel who could speak English, had decided