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March 26, 2012 | by  | in News |
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LOL News

HIPSTERS ABANDON NATIONAL PARTY

The usually fiscally responsible National party have upset their subset ‘Hipsters for Goldsmith’, following news this week that they paid a widely derided New Zealand rock band $79,911.81 for the use of a song.

The Feelers’ soaring anthem ‘Stand up’ was used in campaign ads in the build up to the 2011 general election. It’s hard to say whether the use of the song was the reason for National’s larger than life win in the polls. With over a million kiwis standing up to be counted as National supporters, it left Labour fishing for Lisa and some new ideas.

DON’T FEAR THE REEFER

If you love buying Marijuana but hate the hassles that come with drug dealers then head on over to the Daktory in Auckland’s New Lynn—where you can purchase a gram of skunky bud for $20, from a vending machine.

Brainchild of the now incarcerated Dakta Green, owner of the ‘Daktory’, the vending machines main purpose is to stop people putting themselves at risk for selling the illegal substance. Salient is yet to hear of the quality of the product but when we know, so will you.

BICYCLE THIEF DRUNK AGAIN

A man from Aspen, Colorado has been reunited with his bicycle after it was returned to the local police station with a note attached explaining, “Sorry. I stole this bike. I rode it home. Please give it back—Drunk.”

Jay Maytin, the bike owner ”knew a drunk took it because it doesn’t have much of a re-sale value.” No one has any idea who the late bike borrower is but Jay isn’t concerned, he’s just happy to have his “workhorse’’ back.

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