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March 26, 2012 | by  | in News |
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The Week That Wasn’t

iZealand Hits Shelves

Apple Inc. and the New Zealand Government have announced a new initiative aimed at boosting employment and raising wages in New Zealand. Apple CEO Tim Cook says the company will move production of virtually all their product’s to iZealand in the next decade, with Finance Minister Bill English calling the move a coup and saying it was only possible because of “the competitive advantage of New Zealand’s low wage level”.

This is not the first time National have been accused of selling sovereignty to foreign interests in the name of job security, with Warner Bros and Sky City having won favourable concessions in the past term.

At an Apple press conference in the US on Monday, Cook unveiled plans for the company’s $US100 billion cash reserves, saying “Apple’s plan is to create a sleek and sophisticated iZealand that just works.” This announcement has caused controversially in New Zealand with many calling the announcement “beneficiary- bashing,” while others wonder how iPrime Minister Key can sleep at night selling our country to powerful overseas companies.

The first factories, which will be built in South Auckland and Eastern Christchurch had already been signalled by the iGovernment in a previous decision with ACT in coalition talks. The so-called Charter Schools being opened will be training facilities for the local populace on the fastest, cheapest methods to construct your iProducts, including classes such as “Which Chemical Glues Will Burn Your Lungs” and “Why Saving Costs on Face Masks is More Important Than Your Health”.

ACT’s last iCowboy John Banks dismissed criticism of the plan saying “these are good paying jobs, they will allow the residents of South Auckland to get off the dole and it will allow us to dramatically lower unemployment around the country. It will be very hard for South Auckland iMaori youth to commit crime when they are working 18 hours a day”.

It has been revealed that months of intense lobbying have led to a law change—which National rushed through under urgency with the support of ACT—that will make Apple exempt from minimum wage laws, as part of a deal to ensure they bring their jobs to our shores. Free market proponents say the move will encourage real wage growth in the years to come.

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