Viewport width =
April 2, 2012 | by  | in Opinion |
Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

Science: What’s It Up To?

DINOMANIA

A classic ice breaker at parties is the old “HEY IM BAS WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE DINOSAUR?! “You gotta be ready for that conversation, and I’m here to help.

TYRANNOSAURUS REX (TYRANT LIZARD KING)

Most famous dino there is, he terrified us during Jurassic Park, and to this day the sight of my glass of water vibrating causes me to involuntarily piss my pants. Drawback: he has baby arms with only two fingers, so he looks like a bit of a goose.

DIPLODOCUS (DOUBLE-BEAMED)

Long-necked vegetarian. It used to be thought that Diplodocus had a second brain. Paleontologists (dino nerds) now think that what they thought was a second brain was just an enlargement of the spinal cord in the hip area. This enlargement was larger than the animal’s tiny brain.

VELOCIRAPTOR (SPEEDY THIEF)

May have been able to run up to 60 km/h, and had a 9cm long, sickle-like, retractable claw on the middle toe of each foot, capable of slashin’ necks and cashin’ cheques.

Drawback: contrary to what Steven Spielberg wants you to think, these bad boys were only 1m tall.

TRICERATOPS (THREE-HORNED FACE)

The three-horns were pretty cool, when threatened by predators they probably charged into enemies like the modern- day rhinoceros does, making dinokebabs.

Drawback: these guys made delicious brunch for T-Rex.

STEGOSAURUS (PLATED LIZARD)

Steggy is probably the coolest of the herbivores, and is the unofficial dino of Salient. He had seventeen bony plates, run along his back and tail in two rows which alternated in alignment. Stegosaurus also had spikes at the end of its flexible tail which it would swing like a mace during dino battles.

Drawback: although Stegosaurus was about the size of a bus, it had a small head (the size of a horse’s head) and a brain that was only the size of a walnut.

BRACHIOSAURUS (ARM LIZARD)

One of the tallest and largest dinosaurs ever found, at around 16m tall (giraffe is about 5m). Full grown ones had no predators, and lived the easy life as giant salad munchers.

Drawbacks: its front legs were longer than its hind legs, and when combined with its long neck it ended up having an awkward giraffe-type stance.

ANKYLOSAURUS (FUSED LIZARD)

The bulldozer of dinosaurs, its entire top side was heavily protected from carnivores with thick, oval plates embedded in its leathery skin, two rows of spikes along its body, large horns that projected from the back of the head, and a club-like tail.

Drawbacks: He’s got no plating on his underbelly and can’t roll over, so if he gets flipped on his back it’s game over.

It’s okay if you think dinosaur bones were planted by God to test us, you can still have your favourite. 

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

About the Author ()

Comments are closed.

Recent posts

  1. Vic Beats a Dead Horse Named University of Wellington
  2. Issue 20, Vol 81: CW: Tits & Bits
  3. Food Sex
  4. A (Selective and By No-Means all-Encompassing) Look at Neo-Soul
  5. A Love Song
  6. Doing It
  7. Top 5 Sexiest TV Shows I I Was Too Young to be Watching But I Did Anyway
  8. My Dad Wrote A Porno
  9. NT: Te Ara Tauira
  10. Sexing up the Hub: Condoms, Clits & Suzy Cato
Website-Cover-Photo7

Editor's Pick

This Ain’t a Scene it’s a Goddamned Arm Wrestle

: Interior – Industrial Soviet Beerhall – Night It was late November and cold as hell when I stumbled into the Zhiguli Beer Hall. I was in Moscow, about to take the trans-Mongolian rail line to Beijing, and after finding someone in my hostel who could speak English, had decided