The Week That Wasn’t
At an Aro Street flat meeting on Thursday flatmate Aaron McCoy announced that the flat would have to take austerity measures if it wished to not be “totally fucking broke” by next week according to a Salient reporter who happened to be present.
He added that he was sick of the “random ass” bottles of coke zero he helped pay for but did not drink.
“What? No Coke Zero?” asked flatmates Taylor Jennings and Eliza Henricks tentatively.
“Zero Coke Zero.” explained McCoy.
“But we’ll have zero hope with zero Coke zero.”
Jenning and Henricks went on to express their frustration that McCoy’s money saving initiatives did not address the flat’s fundamental problems, “like the fog in the lounge and shit”.
A Salient reporter can confirm the Aro Street lounge does indeed gather fog. Seriously, there needs to be a dehumidifier in there or something. This isn’t news. Just… wow.
McCoy responded by reminding Jennings and Henricks that they both still owed him $20. “Why don’t you consider pay said that debt first, huh?” he said while attempting a tone of joviality.
“It’s like he expects us to pay him back for all the cash we borrow. Does he want us to move out?” Said Henricks after McCoy had retired to his room.
Henricks then marched down the hallway towards McCoy’s room yelling “debt! debt! debt!” Jennings reckons it was more of a walk and McCoy thought Henricks was yelling “dick”.
“Stop calling me a dick, bitch.” said McCoy after he emerged during the protest.
“I’m saying debt not dick, you dick.”
“Oh, you mean the debt you owe me? That’d be great thanks.” All attempts at casual merryness had gone.
The Salient reporter and Jennings looked on awkwardly.
“I might be angrier if there was more in it for me,” Jennings said “A free sausage might do the trick.”