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June 5, 2012 | by  | in Opinion |
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Things You Already Know But Just Need To Be Told

No One IS Allowed To Like The Things You Like

It’s so easy to sneer. It’s so easy to look down on people. No one can ever be as smart as you. No one will ever understand the world and how it works as well as you do. Why don’t people listen? Are people trying to make their lives harder? Are people trying to make the world worse? Because that’s how it seems sometimes! Am I right? You are so smart, your vision is so clear that people disagreeing with it must be doing it out of some kind of spite or deep pathological delusion. Why must people be so wrong?

Y’know, what’s even more annoying than when the idiots, the dunces, the pants-on- headsers of the world disagree with you? It’s when they agree with you.

How many times have you had something you like, for all the right reasons, because you are smart and inquisitive and so fucking deep, ruined because a bunch of the professional droolers who seem to infest the world around you have had the temerity to enjoy it as well. They, as a matter of course, like it for all the wrong reasons. While you get it on all its most dense and intended levels, the fools of the world only like it for the most base and definitely incorrect reasons. They spoil it for you.

Whether it’s a band, a book, a film, a tv show, or the vlogbrothers, these licking spits of arrgh are ruining it for you simply by liking it. By enjoying it on their own terms. Actually, it’s so much worse than when they disagree with you, when they hate something you love, because in those cases you could just write them off as outright wrong. As fundamentally flawed. They just don’t get it. But when they share your enjoyment of something, even if it is on totally different terms, you have something in common with them.

Maybe you’re wrong to like it if it can also attract such simpering empty-faces. You can’t be wrong, you have spent so much time and energy working out that this is exactly the kind of thing that someone like you would enjoy. It fits your image so perfectly, so why are these nose-bleeders spewing their ignorant love all over the thing you care about? Maybe they’re doing it to troll you. Maybe it’s just a prank. Maybe they’re doing it to make you doubt yourself and give up on it so they have it to themselves and ruin it just to spite you.

Now, this is going to come as a surprise to you but the best thing to do in this situation is fuck the fuck up, fuck the fuck off, and fucking harden the fuck up. Who are you to be dictating other people’s taste? Who are you to dictate the right and wrong cultural standards of appreciation for things?

People are allowed to like things. It’s that simple. To try to mediate around that fact is ridiculous, childish and all those other adjectives that you only describe yourself as when trying to feel ‘free’ or moments before trying to tongue a vomiting girl at a party ridden with first years and toxically scented body spray.

Okay, let’s put a caveat in there just to be safe and so you can’t discard this column with your helplessly well-worn excuses and exceptions. People are allowed to like things as long as they aren’t hurting anyone else. And I mean really tangibly hurting. Not people’s feelings. Not your feelings. Because that is what is hurting, because you want to be special and when people who aren’t special start sharing traits with you, you get a little boohoo on your heart. Poor you.

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About the Author ()

Uther was one of the two arts editors in 2009. He was the horoscopier and theatre writer in 2010. Alongside Elle Hunt, Uther was coeditor in 2011.

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