Viewport width =
July 30, 2012 | by  | in News |
Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

The Week That Wasn’t


Wellington Central man Aaron McCoy and long time fan of EA Games’ The Sims series has been labelled “sick and twisted” by friends after they noticed he had been treating his Sims with compassion and concern rather than brutally murdering them when he got bored and felt like a sandwich like everyone else.

Psychologist Dr Rye said “while McCoy’s behaviour may be interpreted as freakishly abnormal, it’s absolutely crucial that friends and family help him through this difficult time.”

“We normally encourage the family who are faced with a compassionate Sims player to slowly introduce sadistic tendencies into their day to day life. They might suggest to him that he remove the ladders from pools, or board up the doorways to his children’s’ bedrooms while they sleep.”

“While these may have long lasting consequences such as imprisonment for manslaughter or neglect, they are ultimately in the player’s best interest.”

But McCoy’s family say their attempts have shown no results.

“We asked him to repair the stereo while he was fatigued, but he’s gone right back to playing the fourth generation of his current family” said his brother.

Other members of McCoy’s family showed normal tendencies towards creating emotionally unstable sociopaths.

His mother said she first knew something might be amiss when she observed McCoy regularly feeding his Neopets in 2002.

“He knew they couldn’t die, but he went on doing it anyway,” she said.

“But I knew things had become much
worse when he began creating a vibrant and functioning town while playing Sim City two months ago. He showed no intention of ever creating a succession of devastating forest fires.”

Rye said the last resort in treating McCoy’s condition would be to “lock him in a room with nothing but a fridge and see what happens.”

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

About the Author ()

Comments are closed.

Recent posts

  1. Losing Metiria
  2. Blind Spot
  3. Aspie on Campus
  4. Issue 17
  5. Australian Sexual Assault Report Released
  6. The Swimmer
  7. European Students Association Re-emerges
  8. Can of Worms!
  9. A Monster Calls — J. A. Bayona
  10. Snapchat is a Girl’s Best Friend and Other Shit Chat

Editor's Pick

Locked Out

: - SPONSORED - The first prisons in New Zealand were established in the 1840s, and there are now 18 prisons nationwide.¹ According to the Department of Corrections, the prison population was 10,035 in March — of which, 50.9% are Māori, 32.0% are Pākehā, 11.0% are Pasifika, a