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August 13, 2012 | by  | in Opinion |
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On Campus

An Audience With the overlord of the overbridge

Hugo Randall—King of the overbridge and Jack Black look a like talks to us about the life and times of his empire.

What is it about the overbridge that sees you coming back time and time again?
I have a harem of girls I have to keep safe from dangers… Strangers and other suitors.. Have you seen McLaurin and Cotton? Those science boys…
Is it kind of like a Mean Girls territory claim?
It’s mainly our group, but you get others that try to encroach—if that happens, you yell “he doesn’t even go here!”
Is there an overbridge hierarchy?
Oh yes, I wouldn’t say I’m at the top, I’m more of a facilitator of services. The Coppell Twins, Rosemary and Jessica, are the matriarchs.
If you could change one thing about the overbridge…
We need a name for this thing, a concrete identity. They gotta respect the owners, the landlord, you can pass through but it’s gotta be in peace. It’s all about—(yells out mid- speech “Hey, Gorgeous!”).
Would the overbridge be an appropriate performance venue?
(yells to acquaintance “Burt—you look like a smurf!” *Burt scowls*) A site-specific play… Interesting! We are thinking of a having a capped Godfather here, but that’s still under wraps—gotta get Twins’ consent. Performance art is a bit too avant-garde for me, but it’d be the perfect place for a biography of our family.
Would you support the overbridge as a drinkers’ and smokers’ zone?
The way we lead our family here everything is bad for your health eventually—if we could bring in some revenue and land expansion, then yes, definitely.
What’s the latest you’ve stayed at the overbridge?
About 7:30pm, then again some of the people in the group helped facilitate the overnight stay. Checking that there were no damages done. Occupy the Overbridge saw people staying over—we had several delegates making sure everything went smoothly.
Murphy or Kirk? (you normally seem to tend toward Kirk)
Kirk, but we have the right of seats—we usually let the Kelburn side be open to the public. We have rules: no racism, sexism, cultural indignities etc. The main point is that we’re watching over.
You’ve come to be known as a bit of a fashion sartorialist (you mocked me for wearing sneans on numerous occasions)—is it just me or are there other victims?
You weren’t the first. Check out Magnum PI over here (signals to Matt). You have to look good if you want to create an impression. Any impression you give is given by how you dress. I see a bad dresser and of course I’ll give them a bit of the old judging eyes.
Earthquake situation?
We’re all screwed. All the doors shut and seal us in, in case of fire or earthquake. You live and die as a family.
Final comments?
We’re not an organisation, we’re a service to the public, and we don’t want people to be intimidated, just know that we are here. We are the overbridge family.

 

 

 

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