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October 15, 2012 | by  | in Opinion |
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Grammar Counsel Of The Week

Sub-Editorial

Let me share with you some tips on how to type things like a normal human being. They’re simple, and will score you at least an extra two per cent on any given essay. Firstly, never, ever, double- space after a full stop: “I have a girlfriend. She is wonderful.” Word processors are designed to space your work correctly—hitting the spacebar twice at the end of a sentence is the worst thing you can do at that point, with the possible exception of using more than one exclamation mark in earnest. Secondly, please don’t make up your own words, unless you really, really know what you’re doing. Neologophilia is a dangerous passion. Get a girlfriend. Random Overcapitalisation is another Silly thing for you to Insert in your work, Even if you think it’s warranted. Trust me, it’s Not. I guess the only other thing to add is know when to use your apostrophes, especially in this age of textual communication. There’s an almighty difference between admiring your girlfriend’s and your girlfriends’ lovely legs—it may save your life someday.

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