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October 15, 2012 | by  | in Features |
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Hello Salient, I Come In Peace

A letter from beyond tomorrow

Through the miracle of modern technology, I have composed and written this article to you, the Salient readers of 2012, from the relatively distant future. You see, this year’s editors will soon bury a time capsule to be opened in the event of commercial time travel being made practical. In a manner of speaking, that time is (for me, at least) now. We can send electronic signals through the aether, which scientists will discover for you quite soon, and rearrange them in the past, creating what you call electronic mail. I, a humble writer from the magazine’s future, am given the responsibility of passing on to you some fun information about what you may expect from the future. First, though, a request: I won’t be sharing anything that could seriously derail the course of herstory, but please, don’t repeat anything contained in this article to anyone. I’m told that in your time Salient is only read by a select few of the conservative intelligentsia, and I know I can count on you to keep this a secret.

The next few years will be difficult ones for our magazine. A shortage of funding, a lack of student engagement and of course the violent demise of print media all take their toll. Thankfully, a dedicated team of staff and volunteers will be on hand to keep things steady. Their names will be honoured in due time in the Mausoleum of Editors, once the Old Student Union Building is demolished to make room for a suitable resting place. Thanks to the tireless efforts of so many hardworking student journalists, Salient will have cemented its place in the national consciousness within 50 years. By the time the University is overtaken in a vicious coup by a fanatic religious group, it will be Salient which uncovers every gory detail and spearhead the military action needed to liberate students from the literal prison which the Campus Hub will become.

From there, Salient will have nowhere to go but up. Being a student publication brings with it a yearly turnover of editors, and while that has its drawbacks it does allow a magazine to remain fresh and in touch with its audience. For that very reason, Salient has always fought off any competitor to the title of number one reading material at Victoria. We will go on to fight off a resurgent Victorious, an aggressively expansive Critic and of course the people ironically reading Craccum. When one of those people who comments obsessively on Overheard or Confessions facebook pages takes over, yes, it will be a sickeningly awful time for everyone. But I assure you, don’t lose hope.That experience will only inspire a new generation of unfulfilled BA students and degree-regretting law students to pick up the torch, and plant the seeds of what will in time become a galaxy-spanning media empire, with one magazine at its beating heart. Cyborg-Vice Chancellor Pat Walsh will put it best when he celebrates two centuries of Salient magazine with the words, “For Gods’ sake, it’s one hell of a read!”

Salient will always stand for the issues, proudly allowing the views of students to be heard on whatever topic they wish.Those topics will change, from marriage equality and student allowances, to robot emancipation and singularity-positivism, but the soul will forever remain the same.The faces will change, but the people here will always be the same promiscuous, borderline-alcoholic do- gooders they always have been.

I won’t lie to you, there will always be those who take student media less than seriously. Those stylus-pushers are the ones who will eventually lead to our downfall. I’m sorry to say that as I write this, the final ever issue of Salient has gone to the holographers. There will be no more features about the interweaving of sex- positivism and loneliness, no more one-page articles amounting to little more than an ego trip. No more dinosaurs comically cast as policemen. We have long been a force to be reckoned with, but we are no more. In our place will be a random collection of puzzles and letters. I hope people enjoy it.

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