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March 18, 2013 | by  | in News |
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Stay Classy, World

“Don’t cry for me, Argentina”, say the Falklands after a further setback to Argentine sovereignty attempts has seen voters in the Falklands backing British rule in a near-unanimous referendum. observers called the result early after numerous reports of orderly, polite queuing at polling stations.

iT was secret concubines to secret conclaves for Catholic Cardinals last week, as the vatican shut down to elect a new Pope. While the Argentines may have lost the Falklands, they’ve won the papacy, blindsiding the Church of England in a sneaky turn of events. Jorge Mario Bergoglio became Pope Francis I, ushering in a new era (read: error) of homophobia and other backward views.

Aung San Suu Kyi has been reelected as leader of the Burmese opposition at the first national congress allowed since concessions from the ruling military dictatorship. Neighbouring Thailand denies any involvement: “Burma?! We barely knew ‘er!”.

A big snow dump has paralysed Europe, including chaos across transport routes and making a lot of people very piste off indeed. Salient has snow jokes to make on the matter.

A recent legal decision made by a judge has shocked some and elicited support from others. Lawyers from one side expressed dismay at the verdict, while simultaneously, other lawyers experienced joy. “My client has no comment,” said the defence.

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About the Author ()

Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

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