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March 25, 2013 | by  | in Opinion |
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Things that Go Bump in the Night

The brain drain

After a week void of both inspiration and emails, I was struggling to conjure up something sufficiently saucy to share with you this week. But all I can say is thank goodness for Kelly Rowland and her new song ‘Kisses Down Low’. Given the nature of the music industry, one would be forgiven for assuming this track was about how much she loves to give blow jobs to her boyfriend. Quite the contrary: Kelly tells the whole world how much she loves to receive “kisses down low”—amen to that. So on that note, this week we are talking about oral sex, baby.

Oral sex seems to have a controversial reputation, both historically and contemporarily. Women often feel that sucking dick is degrading and anti-feminist and men seem to think that eating pussy is emasculating or gross. Well kittens, that is complete bullshit. Sure, if you are not ready for sex or feel uncomfortable performing or receiving oral, that is your prerogative, but for those of you who are down to go down, it is a great way to enjoy both yours and your sexual partner’s body.

There are 1001 pointers to rocking your partner’s world with little but your laughing gear, but here we only have room for a few. For detailed tips, I can highly recommend the guides to “Eating Pussy” and “Giving Head”, in all their crude glory.

Tip one: Scrub up. So long as you are looking after yourself, taste and smell should be little or no problem. If the situation permits, treat your partner to a sexy lathering in the shower pre-mouth loving.

Tip two: Relax. If your mind can chill out, south of the border is going to follow suit. I know this can be difficult in new relationships, or if you are feeling a little sensitive. Take some deep breaths, relax your muscles, and try to focus on what you’re feeling and nothing else.

Tip three: Use your mouth. Sure, this may be a little obvious, but what I mean here is don’t be shy to tell your partner what feels good and what doesn’t. If you’re a little too shy to ask them to lick harder/stick a finger in your bum, then just moan appropriately.

Tip four: Don’t bite. Ever. I don’t imagine this needs much more explanation.

Lux you long time x.

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