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March 11, 2013 | by  | in Opinion |
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Things that Go Bump in the Night – Come Away with Me

For a lot of us, the idea of role-playing can seem a little naff; dressing up as a naughty nurse or burly lumberjack would be something we would struggle to take seriously, let alone find sexually liberating. However, role-playing isn’t necessarily about donning the riding boots, crop and bridle, but experimenting with taking on a new role that can influence the interplay between you and your partner. In every interaction, each party already plays some kind of role,
whether it is fixed within the confines of our relationships, or something fluid, which changes each time you rendezvous. But in allowing yourself to experiment with a new or alternate version of yourselves, you may find you are able to do away with inhibitions, break routine, and really let your hair down.

Switching up dominant and submissive roles is an easy way to start entertaining the idea of roleplay. Even by inclination of our varied personalities, often intentionally or unintentionally we assume a submissive or dominant role to some extent in the way we relate to one another, and this can be true of sexual relationships too. If you or your partner is generally the one to initiate sex, dictate what position you will be in, or sets the tempo, agree that the other person will take on this responsibility. At the most subtle level, this may allow you to ask your partner to do something new, be more vocal about what feels good, or learn more about how your partner enjoys to have sex. Last week, popular blog Jezebel posted an article highlighting the perks of women having a turn at fucking their male partners in the arse. By receiving, the male partner can experience sex as something internal (rather than exclusively external) to their own body, and this in turn influences “their mood, emotions, and their connection to a partner”. By all means, a similar power shift could be applied to same-sex relationships in which sexual power play is divided. Props can be a helpful aid to shaking things up; try something simple like a blindfold, or for those who are a little more game, restraints are a sure-fire way to shift the balance of power.

It is important to experiment within comfortable limits; this may mean talking about what you would like to do with your partner in advance, and agreeing on what is comfortable for both of you. Additionally, communication is always essential; agree on a safe word or a way to tell your partner if you wish to stop.

Lux you long time.

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