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March 6, 2013 | by  | in Opinion |
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Things that go Bump in the Night

Marilyn Monroe once said, “We are all born sexual creatures, thank God, but it’s a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.” Well amen to that.

Sex is one of our most primal instincts; it relieves stress, burns calories, decreases blood pressure and can make you feel freaking awesome. It is no secret that being a student is a stressful time and can be hugely emotionally and physically-
taxing, so as Salient’s new sex columnist I plan to bring a little more sex positivity to your week, one column at a time.

The most successful relationships you will ever have in life will be built on a foundation of honesty, and so it only makes sense for myself to embark on my relationship with you on an honest foot. Be very aware, there are not a lot of sexy things about one’s first year
at university, be it undignified drinking games, crippling homesickness, or financial instability. But by far the most exhilarating aspect of this new era in your life is all these new people you are about to meet and all the crazy late-night adventures you are sure to embark on. Those of you who are new to this fine city will be split into two camps: those whose late night adventures will be guided by thrill-seeking, risk-taking, and alcohol-fuelled behaviour, and those who will arrive home post-adventure, missing that beau (or belle) who is living in some other city. So it seems appropriate that I take this opportunity to share some advice on how to keep safe for those single and ready to mingle, plus a few tips for those of you who now, post relocation, reside in a different city to your main squeeze.

 

Be smart with your sexual encounters

Given that each of you has chosen to embark on a journey to academic nirvana, you are well aware that being smart is sexy. And so long as you make smart choices when it comes to looking out for you and your sexual partner’s best interests, you’re both bound to have an excellent time.

The best starting point for any sexual encounter is active consent, this means that both you and your partner are in a position where you can communicate to one another that you are totally down. This means that the two of you are sharing the load when it comes to
instigating sex; you are in a position to communicate what you do and do not want, and there are no signs of doubt either verbally or physically.

Additionally, I’m sure each and every one of you has been told in your career as a responsible sexual being that it is essential—when and if you choose to have sex—that you use one or more kinds of protection. And I am also sure that even the most responsible and well-prepared of us have cast caution to the wind and then had to deal with the possible fallout later down the track. The best insurance against this kind of rash decision making is to be prepared: if you are heading out be sure to throw a rubber (or a whole box)
in your bag in order to avoid heartbreak, be it an uncomfortable STI, unwanted pregnancy, or not getting laid at all.

 

Going the distance

As someone who has endured long-distance love, I can tell you the that three things of utmost importance are communication, trust, and trying not to be controlling of the other person.

When it comes to the particulars of long-distance lovin’, be very aware that all too often the things you do online may come back to bite you on the arse. As much as you love and trust your partner, it is always a possibility that someday a picture you sent your sweetheart of your precious parts might end up online for the entire world to see. A phone call is a smart choice because little remains other than your post-orgasm glow once you hang up the line. Try giving your loved one an earful about the sexy things you can get up to next time you get to spend a little alone time together.

Have fun, be safe, and if you have any questions – be sure to send them in.

 

xoxo

Lux you long time

(Lux Libson)
 
 
Lux Lisbon is our resident sex columnist for 2013. If there is anything in your life they could help shed a little light on, or a topic you want them to cover, go right ahead and send a little inbox love to Luxatsalient@gmail.com
 
If you have issues or concerns that you wish to discuss privately and confidentially with a professional, rather than Lux Lisbon, Student Counselling Service can provide a safe place to explore such aspects of your life. The service is free and confidential. If you have issues or concerns that you wish to discuss privately and confidentially with a professional, rather than Lux Lisbon, Student Counselling Service can provide a safe place to explore such aspects of your life. The service is free and confidential.
 
Phone: (04) 463 5310

Email: counselling-service@vuw.ac.nz.

Visit: Mauri Ora, Level 1, Student Union Building.

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