Viewport width =
April 29, 2013 | by  | in News |
Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

Stay Classy, World

The rise of the gaytriarchy following New Zealand’s legalisation of marriage equality has now reached France, which became the 14th country to allow equal marriage rights last week. French marriage-equality campaigners have hailed the victory: “It’s Nice for bigots Toulouse”.

Labour has put a spanner in the works of the Mighty River Power share float, announcing an audacious plan supported by a lot of Wellington bloggers and very few economists. “Won’t somebody please think of the shareholders!” exclaimed the right-wing.

Apple’s net profits have fallen for the first time in over ten years, down to just US$9.5 billion from $11.6 billion last year. In other worrying financial news for the tech giant, its $137 billion of cash reserves only earns one per cent, or $1.37 billion, in interest each year.

The Mississippi Elvis-impersonator suspected to have sent President Obama a poison-laced letter has avoided doing the Jailhouse Rock as charges were dropped. The FBI’s Suspicious Minds were proven incorrect after finding no evidence at the man’s home or on his computer to link him to the crime.

Unusually high levels have been recorded after measurements were taken. The levels have caused concern among monitors of such recordings, prompting alarm. Further measurements will be taken.

Share on FacebookShare on Google+Pin on PinterestTweet about this on Twitter

About the Author ()

Comments are closed.

Recent posts

  1. Token Cripple: You’re totally messing with my cripple aura, dood.
  2. You Are Not Your Illness
  3. Let Me at The Bachelor, and Other Shit Chat
  4. Lost in the Sauce – Avo-no you didn’t
  5. Mauri Ora – Winter’s Comin’
  6. Token Cripple – How To Survive Your First Year at University (with a disabled twist!)
  7. Dream Diagnosis – Fire in Wellington
  8. Liquid Knowledge – Animal farts and performative veganism
  9. One Ocean
  10. Uni Council Corner

Editor's Pick

He Tāonga

:   I wanted to write this piece, in order to connect to all tauira within the University, with the hope that we can all remind ourselves that we are a part of an environment which is valuable, no matter our culture, our beliefs or our skin colour. The ultimate purpose of this