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April 15, 2013 | by  | in Opinion |
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Things that Go Bump in the Night: Cum at Me, Bro

HBO’s TV series Girls has certainly not shied away from being both raw and brutally honest in its depiction of early adulthood. Episode nine of the most recently aired season, appropriately titled ‘On All Fours’, pioneered new taboo territory, depicting one of the only onscreen cumshots I can recall. The depiction was problematic and has been termed as ‘grey rape’ by some online critics, but it got me wondering at a more general level—is the cumshot really that offensive?

Like all things sex-related, whether we term something offensive depends entirely on our own and our partner’s motivations, what each of you enjoy, and the extent to which enthusiastic consent has been obtained. For this reason, if you recoiled in disgust when Adam busted a nut on Natalia, by no means does this make you a prude; the scene encompassed classically troubling themes of male entitlement and female sexual subordination, and was no shining example of a healthy sexual relationship.

One of the most harmful ways in which society controls our sexuality is by telling us what we should and should not enjoy, and what is and is not sexy/feminine/masculine/offensive. We need to stop perpetuating this bullshit. It is true that the bulk of mass-produced hetero-porn that litters the internet has an influence on how we negotiate our sexual relationships and dictates the ways in which we choose to have sex. Unfortunately, at a very generalised level this has meant that teenage boys feel that the measure of sexual success is to blow your load on a woman’s face, while women are told that if you don’t grin and bear it, men won’t find you desirable. By all means, it is important to be aware of the effect of this. As aptly put by Bitch Media’s Becky Sharper, we do not fuck in a vacuum, and, “no matter how liberated you think you are, the truth is, your sexual development did not just happen spontaneously”. The moral is: base your sexual relationships around what feels good for you and your partner, not what you are told you are supposed to enjoy.

So, if it gets you hot when your boo blows his baby batter on your arse, stomach, chest or face, then by all means, glaze away. What you choose do in the privacy of your own bedroom is your own business and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Lux you long time x.

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