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May 27, 2013 | by  | in News |
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LOL News

DEAD SHOCKED

A Tasmanian man who set up a hidden camera to record ghosts, instead caught something quite different, but equally as paranormal: his 28-year-old girlfriend kissing and cuddling his 16-year-old son. Upon questioning, his son revealed the pair had had sex three times. ‘Reputable’ news agency Huffington Post contacted a ‘reputable’ paranormal investigator, who offered the following: “Maybe the ghost in question in their home brought this on? Maybe there was an invisible negative presence egging on the sexual desires?” Salient disagrees; negs don’t work.

MAL-PRACTICE

Mally, formerly Justin Bieber’s pet monkey, now belongs to German customs after a deadline for repatriation lapsed. As previously reported in LOL News, Bieber’s monkey was confiscated by German customs as the capuchin did not have the appropriate vaccinations and paperwork. Bieber is fresh from a topless appearance at a Poland airport, having to defend his “craft” as “no gimmick” to booing fans at an awards ceremony, Instagramming a photo of him drinking beer, and tweeting about drug legalisation, all of which beg the question: will the tabloid press be able to find an angle in all of this?

SEEMS LEGIT

Pope Francis has been accused of talking to the Devil, after performing what was apparently an exorcism on a wheelchair-bound man attending a mass at St Peter’s Square, Vatican City. Exorcists from around the world insisted the Pope—who is God’s representative on Earth, as chosen by 100 or so virgin men locked in a room—had indeed “taken on the forces of evil” head on. The work of the Devil had manifested as precisely four demons, which were removed from the man via the Pope’s hands as he rested his palms on the man’s head for approximately 15 seconds. If this doesn’t sound like LOL News to you, read it again.

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FUCK ENGLISH, VOTE POEM

: - SPONSORED - The layer of mist over paddocks, delicate and cold; the layer of cows under a silver sun-bleached tree; the hills rising over them and in the distance the whole countryside demarcated by accidental hydrangeas or a gentle river.   All of these layers upon layers