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May 20, 2013 | by  | in News |
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Stay Classy, World

The Nigerian President has placed three states in a state of emergency, after deadly attacks by Islamic militants, providing proof that trouble is Nig-h after all.

The FBI is investigating the US Inland Revenue Service for illegally targeting conservative political groups. Tea Partiers are said to be spitting tax.

A German man has taken successful legal action against Google after the search engine’s autocomplete linked his name with ‘scientology’ and ‘fraud’. While the man’s name is unknown, Salient feels for all the other Tom Cruises and John Travoltas of the world.

Iraqi drinkers have beer-ed the cost of their failings under Islam’s moral code, with 12 dead after a row of alcohol stores in Baghdad were attacked by gunmen. Salient prefers the normal way of doing shots.

A prominent sportsperson has earned publicity after doing something outside the sporting arena. Media figures are rapidly paring down their estimations of the player’s character after a thorough evaluation based on athleticism and hand-eye coordination proved inaccurate.

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