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June 3, 2013 | by  | in News |
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LOL News

WHAT A JERK (OFF)

The victim of a practical joke got the last laugh in Columbia, Missouri as the practical joker was arrested by the County Prosecutor. Kaitlyn Booth, 17, changed the name of fellow student Raigan Mastain to ‘Raigan Masturbate’, affecting 720 yearbooks and requiring 12 hours of corrective work from a team placing stickers over Mastain’s new moniker. Booth was arrested for first-degree property damage and harassment for causing the fap flap.

IN SLA-LA-LOM LAND

North Korea is building a “world-class” ski resort, in an effort to attract foreign tourists who are currently put off visiting the totalitarian dictatorship, for some reason. North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un is providing advice to the military builders of the resort; Kim was educated in Switzerland, hence is North Korea’s pre-eminent ski-resort expert. The hill upon which the resort is being built is 768 m high, and the resort will reportedly have 110 km of track between 40 and 120 m wide. So, while Kim may be an expert on ski resorts, he’s no expert on maths.

AUT-AWESOME

Jacob Barnett, a 14-year-old ‘suffering’ from autism, has been tipped to win a Nobel Prize for his work in quantum physics. Jacob went to university aged 11, and now aged 14, is studying towards a Master’s. “I’m studying condensed-matter physics, specifically I’m studying these PT symmetric lattices. It’s like a quantum system, but if you reverse it space and time is the same, so, it’s cool,” he told the BBC. If you’ve ever made fun of someone with autism, the joke’s on you.

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