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July 29, 2013 | by  | in News |
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LOL News

IT’S THE U TO THE S TO THE S TO THE R

It’s less Mos Def, more Moscow as the Russian Army’s latest recruitment drive has seen a rap video recorded to boost signups. “Batman on the inside and Rambo to the crowd, that’s our men and officers – shout it out loud!” raps Anton Gubankov, a civil servant who wears a suit jacket and tie in the clip. A spokesman for the Army hoped the video would give “a dose of creativity” and “boost the Army’s authority”.

OFFENSIVE DRIVING

Two blown tires weren’t stopping a 38-year-old Australian man stopped in his car by authorities last week. The man was in no danger of falling asleep at the wheel for two reasons: a drug test found the man was high on meth at the time, and police found the steering wheel was actually missing – the man had been using a wrench affixed to the steering column. He was also uninsured, unregistered, disqualified from driving, and breaching his bail: all in all, not a good day.

NEXT STOP REDDIT

He’s four years old, he wears a fedora, and he’s the Mayor of the small town of Dorset in Minnesota. Robert ‘Bobby’ Tufts governs between 22 and 28 people, which fluctuates as different families go away on holiday. His primary policy revolves around ice cream, with chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, “cotton-candy kind”, and rainbow sherbet his favourite flavours. Bobby was elected on a campaign slogan of “I would love to be your Mayor as much as I love Sophie.” Sophie could not be reached for comment.

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This Ain’t a Scene it’s a Goddamned Arm Wrestle

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