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July 22, 2013 | by  | in News |
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Stay Classy, World

In Florida, Trayvon Martin was found guilty of assaulting the man who chased him with a gun and shot him to death.

JK Rowling was outed as Robert Galbraith, author of critically acclaimed novel The Cuckoo’s Calling. No word on whether the book’s low sales—just 1500 units at the time—had anything to do with the reveal.

An ‘intelligent’ knife which can detect tumours is hailed as the latest hope for treating cancer. However, it has not yet been perfected, as the scientists responsible have not yet figured a way to get rid of all the cancerous tissue – apparently an important prerequisite.

In performance-enhancing drug news, the Tour de France finished over the weekend. At the time Salient went to print, Briton Chris Froome was leading both the race, and the list of most appropriately onomatopoeic last names. Froome froome!

21 years after undergoing a painful medical procedure thought to involve producing a live human child, a local mother has given an awkward speech commemorating the occasion. Onlookers clapped politely.

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