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August 5, 2013 | by  | in News |
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LOL News

PRISONERS OPT IN TO LITERARY TORTURE

Guantanamo Bay has never been sexier, with Fifty Shades of Grey revealed to be the most popular book requested by inmates.

The book is more requested than the Koran, especially amongst “high-value” prisoners.

“I guess there’s not much going on, these guys are going nowhere, so what the hell,” said Congressman Jim Moran, who toured the facility.

Also popular with prisoners is The Hunger Games, though presumably not with those prisoners who remain on hunger strikes to protest their indefinite detention.

POLICE BAG(UETTE) FAKE GOODS

Parisian police have seized over 60 tons of miniature metal Eiffel Towers, which were set to be sold on the black market.

Paris’ Eiffel-Tower area is notorious for hosting up to 400 black-market souvenir vendors during peak tourist season. Vendors, who pay no tax, disappear at the sound of a siren.

The haul of Eiffel Towers weighs about the same as 12 full-grown elephants, or half a blue whale.

MAN HOPES FOR CUBE ROOT

Australian Feliks Zemdegs has claimed the world title for solving the Rubik’s Cube. Zemdegs completed the feat in just 7.36 seconds, and now has seven of the eight fastest times ever.

Incredibly, Zemdegs’ achievement wasn’t a world record—that belongs to Mats Valk of the Netherlands, who managed 5.55 seconds earlier in 2013.

As a side note, 7.36 seconds is also the amount of time it takes for a girl to leave if you invite her over and pull out a Rubik’s Cube.

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