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August 12, 2013 | by  | in News |
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Stay Classy, World

The US shut 19 of its embassies in the Middle East and North Africa for a number of days last week, after being tipped off to an imminent al-Qaeda attack. Though the leader of al-Qaeda was killed over two years ago, the US has bin Laden down with security concerns ever since.

Baseball’s highest paid player Alex Rodriguez has been caught out for doping and now says he is “fighting for his life”. 12 other players were also banned, showing that baseballs aren’t the only thing baseball players are taking hits of.

Scientists have managed to create an artificial burger using beef stem cells. This is thought to be the first time scientists have grown their own meat since the latest Stephen Hawking book was released in hardcover.

Two weeks on from the theft of NZ$175 million–worth of jewellery in Cannes, the culprits have still not been caught. The world’s most hopeful insurance company, Lloyd’s, has offered a reward of $1.7 million for the jewel’s return.

After two straight days of blue skies, a local woman hailed the end of “a very mild winter”, contradicting her earlier assertion—made in June—that it was “fucking cold”.

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:   Where are you from?  My list was always ready: England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, puppy dogs’ tails, a little Spanish, maybe German, and—almost as an afterthought—half Samoan. An unwanted fraction.   But you don’t seem like a Samoan. I thought you were [inser

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