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September 9, 2013 | by  | in Opinion |
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Things That Go Bump in the Night

There are a ton of sex-negative messages associated with female masturbation, and so it is no surprise that a lot of women are uncomfortable talking about getting themselves off, and that many pretend they have no interest in doing so at all. Spending some time becoming your own best friend with benefits doesn’t make you nasty, or slutty, or even weird; in fact, it may reduce stress levels, help you relax, and improve your sex life by teaching you a few things about what gets you going.

The female clitoris has 8000 nerve endings (that’s twice as many as a penis; crammed into that tiny, easy-access button), so this seems like the obvious place to start. The clitoris will be sensitive to varied pressure, speeds and textures, but if you’re unsure, the best way to start is soft and rhythmic. For some women, a finger may be enough here, whereas others may enjoy the added stimulation of a vibrator (or something similar) for external stimulation and/or penetration. Don’t forget the area around the clitoris, because this also contains a motherload of nerve endings; some women may also find a touch of anal stimulation improves their self-loving time.

We have all heard about this mysterious G-Spot; it may be an excellent idea to hunt it down for ultimate you-time. It is a bean-shaped spot which is hidden somewhere between 2.5 and 7.5 cm up the front of the vaginal wall. It has been likened to the female prostate, and stimulation has been linked to female ejaculation. A useful tip for finding it is to use your index finger in a ‘come here’–type motion along the front wall of your vagina.

As we all know, what is going on in your head plays a huge part in sexual stimulation. So you may need to make an effort to relax, maybe in bed or a hot bath, in order to get your mind in the zone. It may help to let your mind wander and dream up some sexy scenario, or save yourself the work and read or watch something that turns you on.

At the end of the day, it is all about trial and error, and experimenting with what works and what doesn’t work. And whatever you do, don’t feel guilty about something that feels so right.

Lux you long time,



You’re a wanker, but you could be a better one. Today, students, we’re going to talk about you, your dick, and your prostate.

If you have a penis, you’ve probably got a fair bit of experience making it feel good. Especially if you’ve got a foreskin (where lube is more of a bonus than a necessity), plain wanking isn’t, so to speak, all that hard. Grasp in fist, move up and down, continue until you come. And sometimes that’s all you want, right? You’ve got 20 minutes before you need to leave for work and you know you’re going to be writing about wanking this evening (to use an example from my day today), so you browse through your hard drive, or Tumblr, or whatever site(s) you use, spend 85 per cent of the time finding the right scene, then jump around until you get to the right place, then rub one out quickly.

Other times though, you deserve something a little more special. Set aside an evening, tell your flatmates you’re going to sleep early, dim the lights, and get down to business. I’ll assume you’re well-acquainted with what porn you enjoy, though I encourage you to push the envelope a little—some of my best-quality wanks have been on an unusual(/increasingly usual) bender through fetish porn.

Treat yourself to some lube, play with your balls, experiment a bit with grips, rhythms, the hand you use, take your time, play with your nipples, etc. Pay attention to your entire apparatus—the goal isn’t to come in the next ten minutes, but to get to know your junk a little better and have a huge, toe-curling orgasm at the end of it.

Butt now onto the main reason we’re here: prostates. I am aware that butt stuff isn’t for everyone, and this doesn’t have to correlate with sexuality at all—there are plenty of queer men who don’t enjoy bum fun (known as tops), and plenty of straight men who really get off on a finger/dildo/strap-on/fist up there. You’ll never know unless you try, and a wank by yourself is the perfect opportunity.

Use lube, don’t have sharp nails, take a dump beforehand. Find your prostate (just behind your bladder, about 2 inches into your butt), rub it gently. Use two fingers. Use a toy. Use several toys! (I have written about this before.) Leave your dick alone for a bit, and just enjoy this weird bundle of nerves in your arse.

Overall advice: experiment heaps! Wanking is healthy (good for your sperm count, clears your sinuses, makes you happier, gets rid of headaches), so go forth and jack it.


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