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October 14, 2013 | by  | in News |
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LOL News

WHO’S THE BEST? TAKE A STAB

Trash talk over a discussion on the greatest basketball player of all time led to three men being stabbed at a Pittsburgh bar last week.

An uncle and nephew, who had been at the bar for four hours, disagreed with other patrons on who was better out of Michael Jordan or LeBron James, leading to the younger family member pulling a knife.

Although it was not reported who won the argument, Salient suspects it was the guy with the knife.

EMERGENCY CERVIXES ARRIVE JUST IN TIME

A British man slept soundly in bed as his partner gave birth in the ensuite.

Lewis McSweeney, 22, woke up as two police cars and three paramedics arrived minutes after the birth. Worried neighbours, having overheard her screams, had called emergency services.

“I went into our bedroom after I had given birth and showed him the baby but he just went back to sleep,” his partner Nadia told media.

“When I woke him again and he realised what had happened he was in shock.”

NOVEL CALLOUTS

The London Fire Brigade has released a list of their strangest emergencies, and blames the ‘Fifty Shades of Grey effect’ for many of them.

In the last three years, 79 people had to be freed from handcuffs, nine men had rings stuck on their penises, and one unlucky man had his penis stuck in a toaster.

Each callout costs around NZ$500, meaning the cost of those incidents alone totalled nearly $50,000.

“Our advice is simple: if the ring doesn’t fit, don’t force it on,” said a spokesperson for the Fire Brigade.

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