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October 7, 2013 | by  | in Opinion |
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Things That Go Bump in the Night

Is it illegal to have sex in the botanz? Real keen to bang in nature.

 

Hey.

In short, yes. I’m sorry about this, because I totally get where you’re coming from. It counts as indecent exposure under the Summary Offences Act, section 27, but that section also says that it’s a defence if you had reasonable grounds to believe you wouldn’t be observed.

So if you’re going to do it, do it well. Definitely go at night, and definitely go deep into the gardens where there’s the least chance of you being discovered. If you’re wanting to be somewhere flat, you might try Magpie Lawn? It’s pretty quiet even during the day, and you’d be able to see someone coming if you were right at the back. Take a picnic blanket with you to do it on, because a) you won’t get so dirty, and b) you can wrap yourself in it if anyone comes along.

If you’re wanting to do it standing up, then may I suggest going into the trees? You’re less likely to be discovered as there won’t be such a clear line of sight to you, and the sound will be muffled.

The Town Belt, up behind Te Ahumairangi Hill, is quieter than the botans, and big too. If you’re not dead set on the botans themselves you might have better luck there.

Regardless of where you do it, I’d recommend at least trying to keep some clothes on so that you can run if you need to. I doubt that you’d ever actually get in trouble if you were discovered, but it’s better to play it safe, you know? It’d probably be unbelievably funny to be sprinting through the woods chased by some grumpy old dude who didn’t like what he’d overheard.

Basically, so long as you have the blanket with you to cover up quickly if necessary, I don’t see how there’s any reasonable way you could be causing harm to anyone, which is surely the main concern.

Go forth and bang.

Seymour x

[XXXXXXXXXXXITALICS: Is it illegal to have sex in the botanz? Real keen to bang in nature.]

 

Hey.

 

In short, yes. I’m sorry about this, because I [XXXITALICSXXX: totally] get where you’re coming from. It counts as indecent exposure under the Summary Offences Act, section 27, but that section also says that it’s a defence if you had reasonable grounds to believe you wouldn’t be observed.

 

So if you’re going to do it, do it well. Definitely go at night, and definitely go deep into the gardens where there’s the least chance of you being discovered. If you’re wanting to be somewhere flat, you might try Magpie Lawn? It’s pretty quiet even during the day, and you’d be able to see someone coming if you were right at the back. Take a picnic blanket with you to do it on, because a) you won’t get so dirty, and b) you can wrap yourself in it if anyone comes along.

 

If you’re wanting to do it standing up, then may I suggest going into the trees? You’re less likely to be discovered as there won’t be such a clear line of sight to you, and the sound will be muffled.

 

The Town Belt, up behind Te Ahumairangi Hill, is quieter than the botans, and big too. If you’re not dead set on the botans themselves you might have better luck there.

 

Regardless of where you do it, I’d recommend at least trying to keep some clothes on so that you can run if you need to. I doubt that you’d ever actually get in trouble if you were discovered, but it’s better to play it safe, you know? It’d probably be unbelievably funny to be sprinting through the woods chased by some grumpy old dude who didn’t like what he’d overheard.

 

Basically, so long as you have the blanket with you to cover up quickly if necessary, I don’t see how there’s any reasonable way you could be causing harm to anyone, which is surely the main concern.

 

Go forth and bang.

 

Seymour x

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