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October 14, 2013 | by  | in News |
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Week That Wasn’t

Amid fears that planet Earth will run out of puff if current wind consumption rates continue, environmental group Gen Zero has called for a moratorium on wind farms.

Wind is an atmospheric phenomenon, characterised by masses of air flowing from zones of high pressure to zones of low pressure. While not visible to the naked eye, its effects can be observed on plastic bags, hair, and occasionally skirts.

Gen Zero has singled out Wellington—which has the highest per-capita wind-usage rates in the world—for a culture of waste which the group says “has to change”. Gen Zero has implored students to put their support behind more renewable energy sources, like hope, goodwill, and hemp.

“To be honest with you, I’m completely blown away that we’ve let this desecration go on so long. Wind doesn’t just come out of thin air,” a spokesperson said.

A wind-themed flash mob organised by the group has been scheduled for three years ago, when flash mobs were still a novel and relevant idea.

While being accused of throwing caution to the wind, energy companies have dispelled concerns as a load of hot air. A energy-company executive, who wished to stay anonymous, told Salient, “Who is this?” and, “I’ve told your for the last time, stop calling this number,” when pressed on the issue.

Gen Zero is asking students to join the conversation against wind energy by using the hashtag #dontbreakwind.

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