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October 14, 2013 | by  | in Opinion |
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Winners and Losers of 2013

THE WINNERS:

Snapper: Snapper were mentioned more times than ever before in New Zealand politics, after proposals to reduce the catch quota for recreational fishers were announced. The previously quiet fishing lobby swung into action, and before we could say “Go fish!” the Minister’s own caucus was turning on him and the plans were dropped. However, before the changes were abandoned, snapper did manage to find themselves in the centre of both the GCSB spying saga, after the PM said New Zealanders should be more worried about snapper than spying, and the resignation of David Shearer, who held two dead fish up in the debating chamber before he himself became a ‘dead fish’.

Inquiry Fans: This year saw not only dozens of inquiries into government stuff-ups, but also meta-inquiries. The GCSB saga resulted in an inquiry into an inquiry into an inquiry after the original report into GCSB spying was leaked. Confused? You’re not alone.

Aaron Gilmore: Because now we do know who he is.

People who haven’t yet been blocked by Judith Collins on Twitter: The Minister of Justice discovered Twitter this year, and it has become her favourite medium of dishing out right-wing sass. She takes no prisoners,and unrelentingly swipes off futile attempts from the left to outdo her. Her style is unique and a pleasure to watch. She will make a fine replacement for John Key, assuming her Twitter sass translates to the ability to swipe off her main competitor: Steven Joyce.

The Gays: Because marriage. But really, aren’t they always winners?

David Cunliffe: After years of trying, Cunliffe has finally become the leader of the Labour Party. It’s looking like little will stop him becoming the next PM so long as he can hold together the caucus, the party, and his facial hair.

THE LOSERS:

Colin Craig: Colin will possibly never learn that no matter how hard he tries, New Zealanders just aren’t into his dream of a conservative, binding-referendum, (light) blue-tinted country. Sorry not sorry, Colin.

New Zealand: It’s sad to leave you all on a sour note in my final column, but the reality is that this year we’ve been screwed. National has left us asset-less, spied-upon, unemployed, uneducated, unheard, non-propertied and miserable. It’s a sad truth, but with National, we are the biggest losers.

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