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Issue , 2014

The Orientation Week Issue

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News

  • Stay Classy, World

  • Headlines that Weren’t

  • A Cunty Hunt

  • Cunning Linguists Tongue-Tied

  • Scarfies Roofied

  • O-Week Hard Done By

  • Students Stood Up

  • Go VUWSA, Go to Orientation!

  • A Vice-Presidential Introduction

  • Orientation Music Ticket Prices

  • Orientation 2009 – All You Need to Know

  • New Students Orientation

  • Student Services

  • Orientation Finds its Feet

  • Features

  • Oppose Gangham Style

    – SPONSORED – We’ve all heard of it, and few of us are immune to the catchy beat and mesmerising clip of K-Pop Psy’s Gangnam Style. The YouTube hit made by the South Korean clocked a record one billion views last December and has become the latest cultural phenomenon. It has inspired countless parodies, ranging […]

    by

  • How to Throw Parties and Alienate People

    – SPONSORED – This year’s O-Week will not go down in history. It won’t be the best of times, and it won’t be the worst of times. It will cost near to a hundred thousand dollars, but no international music acts will play. Was it always like this? Every year, students’ associations around the country […]

    by

  • The Case for Home

    – SPONSORED – Did you make the canny decision to stay in your hometown? Is that hometown Wellington? Regardless of whether this decision is rooted in a fear of change, a lack of income, an attachment to a pet Iguana, or because “I think you’ll find that Victoria’s Law School is actually rated really highly”, […]

    by

  • Guide to Surviving First Year Halls

    – SPONSORED – It’s the first day: So you’ve got your swipe card and your room key. You are nonchalantly holding the lanyard they are attached to, not wanting to show too much enthusiasm by actually wearing it. Your mother tries to tell you which drawer to use for your undies. You say something snarky […]

    by

  • Interview with Home Brew

    – SPONSORED – “Smooth and delicious, they’re ripping the mic, making the music that you want to hear, the Home Brew crew, drunk every day of the year”. So began 2007’s Home Brew light ep, an exciting opening document which established a modus operandi for the trajectory which has since been followed by Tom, Haz […]

    by

  • Interview with Tommy Ill

    – SPONSORED – Tommy Ill is a rapper from Wellington, playing at VUWSA Orientation 2013 in support of Home Brew. Self-deprecating but mostly upbeat, his sample-laden songs will probably get stuck in your head before the end of the first chorus. With two full albums and as many recent EPs, he brings a huge back […]

    by

  • DON’T PANIC

    – SPONSORED – What you REALLY shouldn’t do (But probably will) Odds are that you have grabbed this magazine in the hope that maybe it can tell you what you should do to get your head around working in this scary new place called university. Unfortunately, I can’t do that. Everyone’s experiences in their first […]

    by

  • Salient Bar Review

    – SPONSORED – You’ve just moved to Wellington. You’ve just turned 18. You’re all dressed up, it’s hit quiet time and the RAs are kicking you out. It’s time to head to town, but where to go? Luckily for you, Salient’s been there, done that and we shall impart upon you, dear first years, some […]

    by

  • The Alternate Newbies’ Guide to the University Experience

    – SPONSORED – Starting university can be an intimidating experience. The first thing I noticed when I picked up the outlines for my first papers was the massive amount of ‘recommended’ work each entailed. Course A, I read with growing dread, was comprised of forty hours of classes, tutorials and independent study each week; course […]

    by

  • Cheap Noms!

    – SPONSORED – Dinner at your hall not looking appetising tonight? Can’t be bothered cooking? Walking home at 3am and you’re dying for a feed? Need to take that special someone out on a date? Salient is here to help! We’ve wandered the streets in search of the best food deals to suit any occasion. […]

    by

  • Tommy Ill

    – SPONSORED – I first heard Tommy Ill—aka Tom Young—at a Wellington mini-festival called Party for the People in 2006. With the help of hype-man and ally Buck Beauchamp, now a member of local alt/rap group The Crackhouse 5, Tommy Ill pretty much destroyed my preconceptions of what New Zealand hip hop was supposed to […]

    by

  • The Thomas Oliver Band

    – SPONSORED – Every year, the NZ Campus Activities Network (NZCAN) pick out one of the country’s most promising up and coming bands to tour the country, entertaining the hordes of students at university Orientation weeks. Last year it was Tahuna Breaks, and this year it’s Wellington five-piece The Thomas Oliver Band. They’ll be performing […]

    by

  • 2009 Bar Review

    You’ve had your power shower, you’ve been drinking under the nose of your RA, you’re all dolled up and ready for your first big night on the town in Wellington…the only question remains: where to go? Never fear newbie first years! Mistress Mayhem and her merry mob of mischief makers did the hard yards in ‘08 to make sure that you wouldn’t have to.

    We’ve compiled a list of options, depending on what your goal for the night is. Read on, little kiddies and soon you too can be flashing your ID at the kind and genteel gatekeepers of some of the most fun you’ll ever have…in first year.

    by

  • Dusty the Activities Monkey Explains Orientation

    – SPONSORED – What is Orientation? The Orientation Festival is the event to kick start what should be a great year at university. There should be something for everyone. Music, sports, trivia, clubs galore, street performers and of course the Hang Over Hangi. This is the time of year to meet new people and try […]

    by

  • Oppose Gangham Style

    – SPONSORED – We’ve all heard of it, and few of us are immune to the catchy beat and mesmerising clip of K-Pop Psy’s Gangnam Style. The YouTube hit made by the South Korean clocked a record one billion views last December and has become the latest cultural phenomenon. It has inspired countless parodies, ranging […]

    by

  • How to Throw Parties and Alienate People

    – SPONSORED – This year’s O-Week will not go down in history. It won’t be the best of times, and it won’t be the worst of times. It will cost near to a hundred thousand dollars, but no international music acts will play. Was it always like this? Every year, students’ associations around the country […]

    by

  • The Case for Home

    – SPONSORED – Did you make the canny decision to stay in your hometown? Is that hometown Wellington? Regardless of whether this decision is rooted in a fear of change, a lack of income, an attachment to a pet Iguana, or because “I think you’ll find that Victoria’s Law School is actually rated really highly”, […]

    by

  • Guide to Surviving First Year Halls

    – SPONSORED – It’s the first day: So you’ve got your swipe card and your room key. You are nonchalantly holding the lanyard they are attached to, not wanting to show too much enthusiasm by actually wearing it. Your mother tries to tell you which drawer to use for your undies. You say something snarky […]

    by

  • Interview with Home Brew

    – SPONSORED – “Smooth and delicious, they’re ripping the mic, making the music that you want to hear, the Home Brew crew, drunk every day of the year”. So began 2007’s Home Brew light ep, an exciting opening document which established a modus operandi for the trajectory which has since been followed by Tom, Haz […]

    by

  • Interview with Tommy Ill

    – SPONSORED – Tommy Ill is a rapper from Wellington, playing at VUWSA Orientation 2013 in support of Home Brew. Self-deprecating but mostly upbeat, his sample-laden songs will probably get stuck in your head before the end of the first chorus. With two full albums and as many recent EPs, he brings a huge back […]

    by

  • DON’T PANIC

    – SPONSORED – What you REALLY shouldn’t do (But probably will) Odds are that you have grabbed this magazine in the hope that maybe it can tell you what you should do to get your head around working in this scary new place called university. Unfortunately, I can’t do that. Everyone’s experiences in their first […]

    by

  • Salient Bar Review

    – SPONSORED – You’ve just moved to Wellington. You’ve just turned 18. You’re all dressed up, it’s hit quiet time and the RAs are kicking you out. It’s time to head to town, but where to go? Luckily for you, Salient’s been there, done that and we shall impart upon you, dear first years, some […]

    by

  • The Alternate Newbies’ Guide to the University Experience

    – SPONSORED – Starting university can be an intimidating experience. The first thing I noticed when I picked up the outlines for my first papers was the massive amount of ‘recommended’ work each entailed. Course A, I read with growing dread, was comprised of forty hours of classes, tutorials and independent study each week; course […]

    by

  • Cheap Noms!

    – SPONSORED – Dinner at your hall not looking appetising tonight? Can’t be bothered cooking? Walking home at 3am and you’re dying for a feed? Need to take that special someone out on a date? Salient is here to help! We’ve wandered the streets in search of the best food deals to suit any occasion. […]

    by

  • Tommy Ill

    – SPONSORED – I first heard Tommy Ill—aka Tom Young—at a Wellington mini-festival called Party for the People in 2006. With the help of hype-man and ally Buck Beauchamp, now a member of local alt/rap group The Crackhouse 5, Tommy Ill pretty much destroyed my preconceptions of what New Zealand hip hop was supposed to […]

    by

  • The Thomas Oliver Band

    – SPONSORED – Every year, the NZ Campus Activities Network (NZCAN) pick out one of the country’s most promising up and coming bands to tour the country, entertaining the hordes of students at university Orientation weeks. Last year it was Tahuna Breaks, and this year it’s Wellington five-piece The Thomas Oliver Band. They’ll be performing […]

    by

  • 2009 Bar Review

    You’ve had your power shower, you’ve been drinking under the nose of your RA, you’re all dolled up and ready for your first big night on the town in Wellington…the only question remains: where to go? Never fear newbie first years! Mistress Mayhem and her merry mob of mischief makers did the hard yards in ‘08 to make sure that you wouldn’t have to.

    We’ve compiled a list of options, depending on what your goal for the night is. Read on, little kiddies and soon you too can be flashing your ID at the kind and genteel gatekeepers of some of the most fun you’ll ever have…in first year.

    by

  • Dusty the Activities Monkey Explains Orientation

    – SPONSORED – What is Orientation? The Orientation Festival is the event to kick start what should be a great year at university. There should be something for everyone. Music, sports, trivia, clubs galore, street performers and of course the Hang Over Hangi. This is the time of year to meet new people and try […]

    by

  • Arts and Science

  • Visual Arts

    While the idea of a whole new year of university may be daunting, keep in mind that somewhere nearby is a refreshing art gallery waiting for you to have an amble through. Here are six quick picks for those in search of an art fix. all are free to attend:

     

    Adam art gallery

    Between the Student Union Building and Old Kirk, Kelburn Campus, Victoria Uni, open 11am-5pm Tues-Sun
    A gallery right on campus! No excuse not to pop in and also probably the least-smelly place to spend a lecture break up at Kelburn. Highlights of this cosy gallery have included a life-size fibreglass seal balancing a chair and bike wheel on its nose, as part of a Duchamp-inspired collection. “21st Century Collecting” is currently showing until the 21st of April and features conceptual, photographic, and new media pieces from Victoria University’s own collection from the past decade.

     

    City Gallery

    Civic Square, open 10am-5pm daily

    As Wellington’s foremost home for contemporary art and central location, the City Gallery is probably the most unintimidating yet comprehensive art gallery around, perfect for both first-time visitors and self-proclaimed art aficionados. The exhibitions are regularly changing, making for a different experience each time. Previous highlights include a giant head-shaped cave by Rohan Wealleans that allowed viewers to climb inside into a fluffily carpeted cranial space. The City Gallery also hosts film screenings, namely during the International Film Festival period in July-August each year. For casual outings, the gallery’s Nikau Café is also a must-do, with a unique courtyard garden where the café’s own greens are grown.

     

    the dr seuss art gallery

    82 Cable St, open 10.30am-4pm Wed-Sun

    Oh this is one of the places you should go – recently opened in October 2012, and one of only two Dr Seuss art galleries outside of the
    US, this neat little gallery is a must for any Seuss fan. Rare original illustrations and prints are on display, featuring familiar and not so familiar Dr Seuss creations. Hard-to-find Seuss-themed souvenirs are also available for purchase.

     

    National portrait gallery

    Shed 11 by the waterfront, open 10.30am-4.30pm daily

    Faces, faces, and more faces. Housed in the Shed 11 heritage building, the National Portrait Gallery provides an interesting-assorted of views of New zealanders through their own eyes. Almost wholly consisting of paintings, the variety among the works is pleasantly surprising. The gallery hosts the Adam Portraiture Award biannually (next in 2014) which sets impressive portraits by both amateur and professional artists side-by-side.

     

    Roar! Gallery

    189 Vivian Street, open 11-4pm Wed-Sat,11-2pm Sun

    The beauty of this little gallery is that you can appreciate the art inside without actually going inside. Whether you’re unfortunate enough to be a first-year Architecture student making the daily commute between Kelburn and Te Aro and/or stumbling past at 2am, the window front display offers all passers-by a clear view of some sort of quirky and usually colourful display. The gallery specialises in outsider art, so diversity always abounds – even if you don’t go inside, at least walk past.

     

    Te Papa

    55 Cable St, open 10am-6pm daily

    Living in Wellington, you will no doubt find yourself sometime or other in the massive chunk of concrete along the waterfront that is Te Papa. It is well worth wading past the hordes of school  groups to reach the quiet upper floors of the museum, housing a sizeable and varied collection of art by local and international artists, from classic to contemporary in sculptures and paintings. Alongside this staple collection, Te Papa also hosts changing short-term exhibitions – such as last year’s 200 Years of Wedding Fashion, which featured dresses belonging to Dita Von Teese and Gwen Stefani.

     

    Sharon Lam

    by

  • Theatre

    Wellington’s Guide for theatre geeks and creative misfits

    Welcome to O-Week. For all you theatre geeks out there, or if you just enjoy a good show, I’ve combed the city calendar to bring you a guide to some of Wellington’s upcoming stage shows and festivals. Over the next two weeks there’s something on offer for every taste, whether that be comedy, dance, music, or theatre.

    Kicking off a great start to the university year, we’ve got the end half of the New Zealand Fringe Festival. The Festival is community-based and showcases a concentrated mix of talent across a variety of art forms including the comedy Gobsmacked: Showbiz and Dating. JTM Productions is showing this musical-theatre-meets-cabaret romantic comedy about the single life, relationships and trying to make it in show business, at Meow Theatre, March 1st – 10th.

    Light Sleepers’ Wake pulls inspiration from T. S.Eliot, Tom Waits and Edward Hopper to create an original play about being twenty-something, drunk and trapped in a genre not your own. Can relate? Sounds familiar? Light Sleepers’ Wake is showing at BATS theatre March 2nd – 7th.

    Fringe is a festival known for being all-inclusive, so you don’t have to be a big-time theatre producer to have your piece included in the festival.

    Definition of Me is a theatre production being performed in an unconventional space–a private flat off Cuba St. Co-written by its four cast members, Definition of Me explores how we each define ourselves and how this definition changes over time. March 4th-9th.

    Friday March 8th brings the premiere of Pinwheel Dance Theatre’s Gizza Hoon showing at BATS Theatre. Gizza Hoon explores the relationship between the Top 40 pop music and Kiwi society. Inspired by the YouTube generation and late-night Courtenay Place antics, Gizza Hoon shows each evening at 8pm, March 8th-16th.

    For those of you who love a good comedy, or perhaps just the awesome natural health benefits of a good laugh, The NZ International Comedy Festival will have Wellingtonians hysterically entertained at The Opera House come April 28th. Hosting the show is 7 Days quizmaster Jeremy Corbett, who will be sharing the stage with a number of fellow comedians including Dai Henwood and Urzila Carlson.

     

    Quick Guide to Wellington Theatres

    An intimate wee venue, BATS Theatre is host to a variety of performances with relatively cheap ticket prices. Recently reopened in a
    new venue on the corner of Dixon St and Cuba Mall (the old Big K to those in the know), BATS is known for showcasing some of Wellington’s best independent theatre and brightest young up-and-comers.

    If you’re one for being fully absorbed in your surroundings while enjoying a good show, then The Opera House is definitely worth checking out. Known for its superb architecture and stylish atmosphere, The Opera House is located on 111/113 Manners St, down the
    road from Arty Bees.

    Circa Theatre, Wellington’s foremost professional theatre, is found on the waterfront and has been around for over 30 years. With some of Wellington’s most respected theatre practitioners treading the boards and working backstage, Circa offers a wide range of high quality New zealand and international plays in a variety of genres from comedies and dramas to musicals and pantomime.

    Gryphon Theatre, located on the corner of Ghuznee and Egmont Streets, plays home to Wellington’s most successful amateur drama
    outfit, Stagecraft. If nothing else, Stagecraft does open auditions, making it a good place for young actors to cut their teeth before their
    third-year Company course.

    77 Fairlie Tce is Victoria’s very own theatre. Most of the shows that go up in that sizeable space have their roots in the 200 level, 300
    level and postgrad Theatre courses, and they’re often quite audacious for student pieces. Also worth keeping your eye on for the new talent coming through.

     

    Diana Russel

    by

  • Books

    Where to buy

    ARTY BEES 106 MANNERS ST

    Arty Bees is one of the bigger Wellington bookstores, despite being second-hand. They’re open until 9pm most nights and until 10pm in the weekends, which is a brilliant way to pass the time while waiting for buses in winter. There’s a wide variety of books in stock but the quality is somewhat sporadic, as they buy almost anything. Definitely worth a go if you’re looking for cheap genre books; the fantasy and sci-fi section is massive. Upstairs there are technical books, shelves of literary criticism and biography, short story anthologies, some rare books, and sheet music: you can find pretty much anything there. See Also: Ferret Bookshop, Quilters.

    PARSONS 126 LAMBTON QUAY

    Up Lambton and in need of a book? Don’t want to go to Whitcoulls? (Well done on that). Try Parsons! It’s on the small side and more often frequented by business-people, but their prices  aren’t bad and their fiction stock is adequate, although mostly geared towards the classics. Where they shine is in academic non-fiction: there are some brilliant books on history and politics lurking in Parsons. They also have one of the only really comprehensive music collections left in the city outside of JB Hi-Fi (avoid – stench of unwashed teenage boy) and Slow Boat Records.

    PEGASUS 204A LEFT BANK, CUBA MALL

    If you’re new to Wellington the first place you should explore is Left Bank. Just off Cuba, it’s an awesome-yet-scummy enclave of cheap BYOs and great shops, including Pegasus, the best second-hand bookstore in Wellington. They have books going right up to the ceiling, in precarious stacks with hand-written labels, and have just got in a new shipment of imported books – there are some real treasures in that stock. It’s a bit of a shambles, with fiction divided between two rooms off the main store, so if you’re looking for
    a specific book you’ll have to check each section. But the beauty of Pegasus is less in seeking out a book and more in coming across something brilliant by accident. It’s definitely worth lingering and perusing all the shelves, even if just to appreciate the occasional touch of decor; hand-painted signs about cats, for example. Oh and every $200 spent results in $20 store credit, dayum.

    UNITY 57 WILLIS ST

    Unity Books is heaven. The best bookstore in Wellington by a long shot, I’ve legitimately never been unhappy there. The stock is amazing; there’s a great mix of contemporary and classic fiction, an emphasis on New Zealand literature, great art books, and lots of philosophy and politics. They also have a pretty brilliant loyalty card – after 10 purchases you get the average you’ve spent free. Free books! I can’t overstate this; go there. Gaze, browse, love. It’s not exactly set at student prices, so spend your course-related costs (yes, all of them) wisely. There’s a New World Metro situated across the street for afterwards; go in, spend your living costs on eating your feelings, and cry. Then never go back. Unity is bad for your emotional health. And your bank balance.

     

    Alex Hollis

    by

  • Film

    “if you’re playing the movie on a telephone, you will never, in a trillion years, have experienced the film.”

    Many of you will be thinking that these are the words of a crotchety luddite, but the renowned David Lynch may have a point. The prevalence of torrenting and iTunes has certainly allowed us access to a greater range of films, but it has also deprived audiences of the unique experience that only comes from watching movies on the big screen. to help you become a true film aficionado we’ve prepared a little guide to the cinematic scene in Wellington. With the film team’s help you’ll soon be ruining conversations with such pretentious twaddle as: “Only barbarians fail to appreciate the multi-faceted narrative of eraserhead”, and “stop watching films on your fucking phone!”

     

    Where to go

    FILM ARCHIVE 84 Taranaki St

    This treasure trove is an essential stop on your journey to cinematic enlightenment. Cobbled together from an array of sources, the archive has a film to suit every taste, even if many of them are relatively unknown. Tickets are reasonably priced and there’s an adorable café next door with which to sate your appetite. You’ll never have to bother with ‘social interactions’ ever again!

    READINGS CINEMAS 100 Courtenay Pl

    Remember those unpleasant childhood memories of your local movie theatre? Bland popcorn, the cackling youngsters with laser lights, floors that seem to be lined with chewing gum. Readings gives you all this and more! Avoid unless you have a desire to plumb the depths of indecency.

    PARAMOUNT 25 Courtenay Pl

    To many cinephiles the Paramount is Wellington’s premiere theatre.  It’s true that the range of films is impressive, with an excellent
    mix of arthouse and foreign films. However, the complex is housed in a somewhat dilapidated building with poor soundproofing and agonising ‘sliding’ seats. Thankfully, renovations are improving the situation and if you find yourself in one of the couch-equipped theatres, or towards the front of the main theatre, then you will have a tremendous time. An integral, if slightly antiquated part of the local arts scene.

    PENTHOUSE 205 Ohiro Rd, Brooklyn

    An exquisite venue, with a fantastic restaurant and a great range of films. Apart from the normal releases, it also plays host to a number of exclusives that are well worth your time. Unfortunately, it does require a treacherous trek out to the wasteland of Brooklyn, but urbanity requires a few sacrifices.

    EMBASSY 10 Kent Terrace

    Not long ago I regarded the Embassy as a purveyor of mere blockbusters, complete with generic food and steep prices. A year later
    and my views have been proven to be haughty nonsense. With a broader array of films, lavish ‘Deluxe’ theatres, technological upgrades and an adorable downstairs bar, the Embassy experience now lives up to the promise of its ostentatiously colossal screen.

    LIGHT HOUSE CUBA 29 Wigan St

    A relatively recent addition to the pantheon of Wellington cinemas but a classy little gem nonetheless. Featuring adorable theatres, an
    excellent range of films, and an assortment of delicious snacks, the light house is the ideal place to see the latest hipster obsession. You’ll instantly feel superior to the plebs who scurry in and out of Readings.

     

    Gerald Lee

    by

  • Music Introduction!

    Hello newcomers!

    It’s always delightful seeing fresh faces as yet ungrizzled by the demands of academia! Realistically, I’m going to accept that you’ll be much too busy pashing totally exquisite babez at your hall/partying down in town/livin’ it up/imbibing all sorts of illicit substances and generally indulging in every base whim to worry too much about music at the moment. And that’s okay! No judgement here yo. But, dear reader, I beg of you not to give up on this column just yet. As the endorphins and euphoria wears off, you may find yourself looking to satiate musical cravings – and here in Wellington you are spoilt for choice you rotten shits. Here is a quick rundown of relevant venues, buskers and purveyors to explore at your leisure. Wishing u happiness and prosperity for the upcoming year xx

     

    ‘Your Venue Menu(e)’

    MIGHTY MIGHTY: 104 CUBA ST

    A tr00 1nd13 haven. According to (possibly apocryphal) rumours I’ve heard, one can get a full year’s secret membership by making a
    twat of yourself in front of the owners. Salient recommends disrobing and jumping into the bucket fountain just in case. What do you have to lose?

    TOWN HALL: 111 WAKEFIELD ST

    Best acoustics in Wellington full stop. Capacious and exquisite. The only downside is that only gigs that attract an audience of 1000+ are hosted here. I saw Bon Iver here last year incidentally. 1. It was predictably amazing and 2. Yes, I can see your look of vexation from here. SUCKAA.

    SAN FRAN 171 CUBA ST

    Where ‘big’ shows that aren’t big enough for the Town Hall are relegated, San Fran is a pretty hip joint that proffers fine acoustics and a lovely atmosphere that gels best with hip-hop gigs and bands that veer towards the experimental.

    PUPPIES 188 TORY ST

    Newish, and finding its feet with laudable promptitude, this venue is perhaps the most intimate and comfortable in Wellington. Just to
    set it apart further, it stocks a great selection of records for pretty decent prices. $$$$

    MEDUSA 154 VIVIAN STREET

    To tickle your inner bogan/rock ‘n’ roller, this is the go-to venue for all things metal/punk/hard rock.

     

    ‘Show me the goods’

    Popular wisdom has it that the advent of digital downloading has resulted in the dearth (if not the death) of physical media outlets. And while this doomsday prophesying does have some validity (RIP Real Groovy Wellington, we remember thee fondly) all hope is not lost. And I have the proof!

    SLOW BOAT RECORDS 183 CUBA ST

    An iconic Wellington institution that has curried favour with the likes of Thom Yorke, Justin Vernon and Regina Spektor, Slow Boat contains a truly phenomenal amount of music (a lot of it on the vinyl format, all you collectors/audiophiles/hipsters out there) that spans an eclectic amount of genres and time-frames. Comparable only to Narnia, really, except that it’s real. Magical.

    RPM 140 VIVIAN ST

    The trendy-as-all-fuck new kid on the block offers an impressive array of new/pre-loved vinyl and an especially voluminous collection of
    electronica, hip-hop, and jazz.

    VANISHING POINT RECORDS 251 CUBA ST

    A wonderful nook near the top of Cuba that specialises in all things rock, owned by a cheerful, irrepressible, and lovely ol’ runk couple. In keeping with the runk aesthetic, the surroundings are grungier than the previous mentions. This look enhances rather than detracts from the appeal, and the owners are always willing to shoot the shit about anything from your favourite obscure post-hardcore band to U2 to the best concerts they’ve been to. Oh, and they effectively double as rock ‘n’ roll encyclopaedias. School yo’self.

     

    ‘every day i’m busking’

    BEWARE OF

    Bob Dylan acolytes. There are two kinds of people in the world; those who can make his line “she breaks like a little girl” sound soulful,
    poignant and tender, and those who make it sound desperately creepy – not unlike those porn pop-up ads that promise an “18yo virgin
    TORN APART by HUGE COCK” when you’re just trying to look up some sensual James Deen or Faye Reagan action (though I’m more of a Stoya man myself). Sadly, most of Wellington’s innumerable Bob Dylan impersonators fall in the latter camp. And none of them know how to play anything off ‘Blood on the Tracks’. Hacks. The ‘Metal’ Busker – usually seen scowling at passers-by at the Railway Station, accompanied by a fearsome entourage of hooligans who smoke indoors and occasionally expectorate at those they deem unfavourable. Avoid.

    by

  • Tommy Ill

    Music

    I first heard Tommy Ill—aka Tom Young—at a Wellington mini-festival called Party for the People in 2006. With the help of hype-man and ally Buck Beauchamp, now a member of local alt/rap group The Crackhouse 5, Tommy Ill pretty much destroyed my preconceptions of what New Zealand hip hop was supposed to be.

    This dude was tall, affable, awkward, dressed in skinny jeans and white. He was also playing to a crowd of indie kids during the height of the nu-rave fad—when, you know, wearing ironic fluoro was cool—and was able to win them over with his easily relatable blend of tongue-in-cheek humour, hook-laden choruses and slice-of-life party storytelling. “They call me op-shop Kanye” is a typical line from his first single, ‘Bill Cosby’.

    Fast-forward four years and I’m standing on the balcony of Buck’s flat with Tom, sipping at our 100-proof whiskeys (recently purchased at ratio of $1 per standard drink thanks to a successful expedition to a Petone liquor store having a liquidation sale) while his friends in The Crackhouse 5 lay down a new track inside.

    When I asked him to fill me in on his pre-2006 back-story Tom was happy to oblige. He candidly recounts how he had gotten hooked on the Beastie Boys at the age of 12 after hearing them when a classmate commandeered a high-school stereo. Soon Tom was writing his own raps, and by his late teens he was playing impromptu shows at the Wainouimata Rugby League Club. This part of his career didn’t last long though.

    “[In the end] I was put off doing shows by the amount of violence at the club. There were rap battles and they usually ended with people going: my gang is better than your gang, and then getting stabbed.”

    Clearly it was time for a change, so Tom relocated to central Wellington and formed a band called the Special Olympians. The band would eventually evolve into local indie stalwarts Holiday With Friends. Although Tom’s tenure with the Olympians was brief, his friendship with HWF eventually led to a run of opening slots that would introduce
    him to the Wellington indie crowd.

    Building on these early foundations, Tom has since been able to establish himself as a viable fixture in New Zealand’s independent music landscape, releasing three well-received EPs in the process: Toast & Tea Kettles, Matchsticks and last year’s excellent Come Home Mr Ill.

    We spent the rest of our conversation discussing Come Home Mr Ill, and in particular, its closing track ‘Best Damn Evening’, in which Tom describes an entertaining series of events from what the song’s chorus refers to as “The party of the year / The event of the season”.

    Although the lyrics weren’t based on any one night in particular, Tom has retrospectively ascribed ‘Best Damn Evening’ status to a recent house party he played at hosted by Baly Gaudin. Gaudin occasionally moonlights as Tom’s hype man, and was responsible for designing the cover art for Come Home Mr Ill.

    Gaudin’s house party featured an improbable set from none other than Baltimore’s indie-dance guru Dan Deacon. Serendipitously, Brian Hainsworth—of Crackhouse 5 fame—was on hand to document the event, and Tom is hopeful that “as long as Brian wakes up on time” the footage can be used to make a music video for ‘Best Damn Evening’.

    Many of the lyrics on Come Home Mr Ill refer directly to the nocturnal activities of Tom and his self-described “rabble of friends”. I was particularly amused to learn that the song ‘Lunch Meat’ was inspired in part by a cocktail—the ominously titled ‘Luncheon Fellatio’—invented by another of Tom’s pals.

    Following this revelation, our conversation turns to a recent review of Come Home Mr Ill in the Dom Post, in which parts of Tom’s EP were compared to Kid Rock.

    In an attempt to avoid future attempts on the part of music reviewers to pigeonhole his music, Tom informed me that he has been listening to “a lot of ‘80s electro-based soul music”. He lets slip that he is also planning on sampling some for his debut full-length album, which he hopes to release later this year. The plan is to write six or seven new songs to go alongside reworked versions of tracks from Matchsticks and Come Home Mr Ill. Tom’s intention is that the album will function as an effective introductory document to his aesthetic, and is hopeful that it will be able reach a wider audience than his EPs. So will his status as an outsider artist change in 2010 then? Who knows? But for now you can catch him (and not pay to get in) at Mount Street bar next Tuesday night.

    Playing for FREE at Orientation
    Mount Street Bar,
    5pm Tuesday 2nd March
    (with Old Grey Wolf)

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  • Ladyhawke

    Dust off your denim jackets kids, Kiwi pop-idol Ladyhawke is putting down the guitar, whipping out her record collection and bringing the ruckus this Orientation.

    From humble beginnings in the Wairarapa town of Masterton, Ladyhawke, AKA Pip Brown, has rocketed to international fame with her catchy retro-tinged dance pop. Having won the adoration of a herd of New Zealand loyalists, Ladyhawke has now made her mark on the world following the release of her breakthrough self-titled album.

    In 2009 she won two ARIAs for Best Breakthrough Single and Album, a Brit Nomination for International Solo Artist, and bagged six New Zealand Music Awards. As well as playing in almost every festival in Europe, Brown has dusted off most of North America with her retrospective blend of synth rock, opening for Ida Maria, and kicking some shit with Peaches along the way.

    Currently working on her second album, Ladyhawke will be swinging by the San Fran Bathhouse this Orientation Week, detonating the dance floor with what is sure to be an eclectic collection of hip-hop, rock, cool 80s classics and a range of her influences. Ladyhawke promises to keep the Bathhouse pumping all night.

    Heating up the room will be Frase (formerly of Frase + Bri) with his gleeful synth beats, the perfect starter for what is sure to be a frenzied night of partying.

    VUWSA and VBC 88.3FM present Ladyhawke (DJ SET) with supporting act Frase

    San Francisco Bathhouse, 12 March
    Tickets: $20 Students/$25 Public

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  • Street Chant and Nevernudes

    Free gig? All ages? Nifty wristbands? Yes please!

    Kick off your first weekend of trimester one with a sweet, free and all-ages show at Victoria University’s very own Mount Street Bar, thanks to the kind folks at VUWSA and VBC 88.3FM.

    Starting at an early 5.30pm (giving ample time for first years to hit the Big K afterwards), Auckland lovelies Street Chant and the Nevernudes are all set to put on an excellent show while you enjoy a very reasonably priced beer (or a Sprite, for those of us who are still 17).

    Formed in 2007, Street Chant have been quite the hive of activity recently. Based in both Auckland and Melbourne, the three-piece band played at the recent Laneway Festival, as well as support for the Black Lips in Australia and an upcoming slot with The Dead Weather. Whether you’re already an avid fan or you’ve never heard of them before, Street Chant are most certainly ‘one to watch’—and why not watch them at Mount Street Bar for free?

    Nevernudes bring their mix of punk and post-punk to Wellington, following a summer of touring New Zealand and a slot at Camp A Low Hum 2010. But you won’t see these guys asking for directions—2009 saw the Nevernudes play a number of shows at Cuba St’s Mighty Mighty bar.

    Too lazy to walk up the hill and too poor for the cable car? Head on over to the design school at Te Aro, with your student ID, for a free shuttle at 4.30 and 5pm.

    Bring your ID to receive an 18+ wristband, which can later be used to get you super-cheap tickets to VBC’s 3rd Birthday, featuring The Mint Chicks, Die! Die! Die! and Bang! Bang! Eche!, all at San Francisco Bathhouse, later that night.

    Really, what more could you ask for?

    VUWSA and VBC 88.3FM Present:
    Street Chant and Nevernudes
    5th March
    Mount Street Bar
    5:30pm
    FREE

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  • VUWSA + VBC 88.3FM present the return of Cool Town

    What is Cool Town? Few people know. Some say it was once the coolest and most mysterious bar in Wellington, located behind a secret door on Cuba Street before it disappeared. One thing is for sure: whatever Cool Town was, it’s coming back. For Orientation Week only, Mount Street Bar will be transformed into Cool Town! From Monday 1 to Friday 5 of March the coolest bands in town will appear at Cool Town to perform for free! Gigs start at 5pm, so you can come straight after classes, which is pretty darn sweet.

    Monday sees Seth Frightening douse Cool Town with warm, glowing folk. Having released their debut recording The Prince and His Madness, Seth Frightening have recently played at Campus A Low Hum, and are soon to play with Deerhoof. Joining them will be the ethereal The Body Lyre. Currently releasing a free online single every month to build up to the release of their new album, The Body Lyre provide warm, atmospheric and suspenseful music. The Body Lyre will be a must-see at Cool Town, and a chilled way to relax after your first day back at uni.

    What a contrast Tuesday provides from the soft lush melodies of Monday. The fresh prince of Wellington rap Tommy Ill will be showering Cool Town in awesome, like a cold bucket of water on a scorching hot day. No one knows what made him take up rap, but they’re sure glad he did—be sure to catch the maestro in action. Playing the foil is Old Grey Wolf. Frantic, upbeat and synthy, this Wellington boy wowed audiences at Field of Dreams. Old Grey Wolf has been justly compared to So So Modern and Hot Chip.

    By Wednesday the days are starting to drag, but Cool Town just keeps rockin. Sets has made a daunting target for himself this year. Deciding that the start of a new decade is the perfect opportunity for “a new process”, he is composing an entirely new and different album for every show he plays, never repeating a composition at any two performances. Definitely not to be missed. Fear for the Birds are new on the block, but you wouldn’t think it. Noisy but earnest, they can be compared to the atmosphere of early Modest Mouse.

    Thursday! Girls love John the Baptist. Their fast-paced banjo-based folkabilly made them one of the Captial Times’ “stand-out Wellington acts” at Campus A Low Hum. They’ll be stirring up some crazy times at Cool Town, along with accompanying Vaults. Richard Paul Alexander has teamed up with Rowan Price, after his amazing set at Field of Dreams earned him a spot at Campus A Low Hum. An exciting first gig is to be expected at Cool Town.

    Friday is sadly the last day of Cool Town, but it offers two of the hottest bands in the country, this time from Auckland. Noisy pop-punk artists Street Chant and Nevernudes will close Cool Town with a bang or two. Four-piece Nevernudes have been compared to the likes of The Mint Chicks, Sonic Youth, Fugazi, At the Drive-In, and have been described as “tasty, like a pie”. Their debut EP was produced by former Mint Chick Michael Logie, and the band are now threatening to be one of the best up-and-comers Aotearoa has to offer.

    Ambitious trio Street Chant have a humble Auckland background, but their blend of thrashing post-punk and cheerful pop has helped make quite a name for themselves. They soon open for The Dead Weather all through Australia, so catch them before the masses do at Cool Town!

    Get sucked through the Cool Town portal at Mount Street Bar this O-Week. It’ll be too late once it closes.

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  • VBC 3rd Birthday

    How better to celebrate turning three than to put on one stonker of a show at the San Francisco Bathhouse? Sure beats my third birthday, which was a tumultuous combination of tears and toddlers. For the best third birthday you’ve ever been to, head along to SFBH on 5 March for VBC’s 3rd birthday with none other than The Mint Chicks, Die! Die! Die!, and Bang! Bang! Eche! (No birthday presents required.)

    The Mint Chicks have been rather busy, what with relocating to Portland in 2007, losing their bass player, finding their bass player, releasing an album Screens in 2009, and a brand spanking new EP, Bad Buzz, coming out in February. Known for their amazing live performances, a number of catchy tracks and a handful of great videos, The Mint Chicks are sure to put on one hell of a show.

    Die! Die! Die! have just recorded album number three—it’s not out yet, but is certain to live up to the band’s history of impressive recordings. Die! Die! Die! have, as usual, been extremely productive—touring, recording, touring—they never ever seem to stop. Fortunately, Die! Die! Die! are gracing us with this non-stop energy for what promises to be a very exciting night!

    Bang! Bang! Eche! are a bunch of young punks from Christchurch, formed by T’Nealle Worsley in 2007. They’ve since been picked up by the underground management (New York). And with two EPs out, Bang! Bang! Eche! and Sonic Death Cunttt, you should expect big things from them.

    Tickets available from www.dazzletickets.co.nz (0508 DAZZLE), Real Groovy and undertheradar.co.nz.

    For one easy booking fee of $3.50 (for both students and regular folk) you can load up all your Orientation events on one card. Cards are available online, at the VUWSA office on campus and the Dazzle ticket booth in the quad during Orientation Week.

    If you have a student ticket you will be required to show Student ID at the door.

    VBC 3rd Birthday
    VUWSA and The VBC 88.3FM PRESENTS:
    The Mint Chicks
    Die! Die! Die!
    Bang! Bang! Eche!
    5th March, San Francisco Bath House
    Doors 9pm
    Students $15/Public $20

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  • Ladi6 and DJ Parks

    For the first time since July 2009, Ladi6 and DJ Parks are headlining a gig in Wellington. Throw in support from Julien Dyne, and you have yourself an O-Week event that’s not to be missed, brought to you by VUWSA and the San Francisco Bath House.

    A year on from the release of her gold-selling debut album Time is Not Much (awarded best Urban/Hip-Hop album at the 2009 NZ Music Awards), Ladi6 has toured New Zealand, Australia and Europe, and performed alongside the likes of Alicia Keys, Talib Kweli, De La Soul and The Roots. She is one of the most fully-formed live artists to emerge from New Zealand in the last decade, and 2010 finds her at the top of her game—and touring her home nation, including one night only at the San Francisco Bath House.

    Ladi6 is joined by Julien Dyne, the Auckland-based drummer for Opensouls, and now a respected solo artist. Dyne released his debut album Pins & Digits on the prestigious English record label BBE in 2009, to much critical acclaim. His wonky, beat-driven, futuristic soul is the perfect match for Ladi6’s sultry, hip-hop and reggae-influenced tracks—there’s no doubt that their O-Week show will be a great gig to kick off your year at uni.

    Ladi6, DJ Parks and Julien Dyne are playing at the San Francisco Bath House on Saturday 6 March. Pre-sale tickets $15 for students and $20 for non-students, plus booking fee, and are available from www.dazzletickets.co.nz (0508 DAZZLE) and Real Groovy.

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  • Deerhoof

    Having toured the world extensively throughout 2009, acclaimed indie quartet Deerhoof will be crashing the O-Week party in March with polyphonic rhythms, crashing guitars and adorable melodies. Since their formation in 1994, Deerhoof have redefined ‘original’. Their infectious blend of off-kilter pop, pulverising noise rock and innocent melodic cheer has restlessly evolved with each album, demolishing genre boundaries, and winning almost complete and undisputed critical acclaim. Deerhoof are known for their eccentric originality, harmoniously balanced with the alluring and unique tone of Japanese vocalist Satomi Matsuzaki.

    Dramatic, electric and colourful; live, Deerhoof woo their audiences into a hypnotic yet frantic state. Their performances have been described by Popmatters.com as “a frenetic powerhouse that peaks on the edge of collapse”, a certain one-of-a-kind spectacle for VUWSA Orientation 2010.

    A Grayson Gilmour gig is a rare gem, but this doesn’t prevent one of Wellington’s most prolific and creative artists from delivering a live spectacle to rival any singer-songwriter in New Zealand. Gilmour has been working tirelessly over the last two years, developing new material both for himself and his band, the epic So So Modern. In O-Week the polyphonic frenzy of Deerhoof will be accompanied by the merciful but sinister crooning of Grayson Gilmour.

    The warm sonic tapestry of Seth Frightening is gaining notoriety and acclaim at a rapid pace. A folk act unique and rich with sentiment, Seth Frightening can deservedly be compared to the talents of Elliot Smith, The Mountain Goats, and Bon Iver, and will add a beautiful blend to the line-up.

    This is an evening not to be missed.

    Special Thanks to VUWSA for making this subsidy possible!

    Tickets available from www.dazzletickets.co.nz (0508 DAZZLE), Real Groovy and undertheradar.co.nz.

    For one easy booking fee of $3.50 (for both students and regular folk) you can load up all your Orientation events on one card. Cards are available online, at the VUWSA office on campus and the Dazzle ticket booth in the quad during Orientation Week.

    VUWSA, VBC 88.3FM and the SFBH is proud to announce the return of VBC Wednesdays, and Orientation 2010 with Deerhoof, Grayson Gilmour and Seth Frightening

    10 March, San Francisco Bathhouse
    Doors 8pm
    $10 Student / $20 Concession

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  • The Chills, with Secret Knives and Joe Blossom

    Flying Nun post-punk legends The Chills are dropping smack-bang into the middle of Orientation, and they’ll be joined by two of the freshest young talents Wellington has to offer, Secret Knives and Joe Blossom.

    Notorious, legendary, seminal. Call them what you will, they’re The Chills. Nearly 30 years after their formation, the iconic kiwi band remains a pioneer of New Zealand music. Pivotal in the emergence of the world-famous ‘Dunedin sound’ in the 1980s, the band’s smooth but precarious music has established them as international cult icons. Although best known for their singles ‘Heavenly Pop Hit’, ‘Pink Frost’, ‘Kaleidoscope World’, and ‘I Love My Leather Jacket’, The Chills are remembered for their lingering presence long after music has ended. Now in 2010 The Chills will paint the San Francisco Bathhouse with New Zealand music history, reaching deep into their discography, unleashing some new classics in the making, and no doubt tearing the odd shit up along the way.

    Performing in harmony will be energetic youngsters Secret Knives. These boys have been kicking around the block for a couple of years now, having solidified themselves as the most exciting potential in Wellington with the release of their debut 2008 EP The Wolves, in conjunction with a great live set. With an air of Over the Atlantic and a nod to The Album Leaf, Secret Knives are “smooth and sombre” with “chiming guitars, electronic textures and angsty, but not overwrought, vocals”. Fresh from Campus A Low Hum and opening for the San Franciscan duo The Dodos in January, Secret Knives will be set to pounce at Orientation 2010.

    Joe Blossom is making a name for himself as the one to watch for 2010. Earnest but playful at the keys, Blossom’s infectiously catchy melodies are charmingly reminiscent of indie pop-stars Clap Your Hands Say Yeah or The Decemberists. Live with his band The National Average, Blossom puts on a tight, delightful and at times theatrical set.

    The Chills, Secret Knives, and Joe Blossom: the experience of age comes hand-in-hand with youthful restlessness this Orientation.

    Tickets available from www.dazzletickets.co.nz (0508 DAZZLE), Real Groovy and undertheradar.co.nz.

    For one easy booking fee of $3.50 (for both students and regular folk) you can load up all your Orientation events on one card. Cards are available online, at the VUWSA office on campus and the Dazzle ticket booth in the quad during Orientation Week.

    VUWSA and VBC 88.3FM proudly presents:
    The Chills
    with Secret Knives and Joe Blossom
    2nd March
    San Francisco Bathhouse
    $20 Student / $30 Public

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  • WOW

    At Bar Bodega, Tuesday 3rd March

    Sydney garage/electro outfit WOW have had a huge year-and-a-bit since they began in late 2007. Originally starting as a 2-piece with Matt Cribb and Bree Carter, they have recently expanded to include Matt Blance (DJ Drugmoney) on drums, and Stephen J. Mitchell (Emergency! Emergency!) on synth and electronics.

    WOW started off as a bedroom-jam project between Cribb and Carter, employing unusual production methods and a range of cheap electronic equipment like toy keyboards and homemade instruments. Combine this with a DIY ethic and absolutely no idea how to play any instruments properly, and the first bunch of WOW songs were born. Weeks later WOW’s first home-produced demo CD was passed around Sydney’s radio stations and tastemakers, which saw the band kick up a mini-frenzy of interest that led to a hectic 2008.

    On the live front, WOW went on to play with a multitude of local and international bands including Crystal Castles, Ladytron, Lady GaGa, Holy Fuck, El Guincho, Telepathe, Van She and Grafton Primary. They also made appearances at the Big Day Out, Parklife, Field Day and Playground Weekender festivals in Sydney, as well as a headline slot at The Hanoi International Music Festival in Vietnam in early 2008.

    Joining them are quite possibly the best band you’ve never heard (yet), Auckland’s The Naked and Famous won’t be a secret for too much longer. With two EP s This Machine and No Light on Round Trip Mars (home to SJD, Phelps & Munro, James Duncan, Unitone, Hifietc.) through Universal NZ, they are already further down the track than many who have been around a lot longer. The band, named after a line from a Tricky song, are based around the ferociously talented pairing of composer/control freak Thom Powers and vocal siren/lyricist Alisa Xayalith, though they operate as a 4 piece live.

    Also playing is Kitten Tank. Franko Eggleton started Kitten Tank as a solo project in 2006 in Dunedin. In 2007 he moved to Wellington. In 2008 debut album Post Modern Hoe Down was made, produced by Rory Storm which has been called “a lo-fipop masterpiece”.

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  • Orientation of Sound

    Aston Shuffle, General Lee and Jarry the Maori
    Garden Club, Dixon St
    9pm-4am

    $20 presales from VUWSA or www.dazzletickets.co.nz or $25 on the door.

    ZM Presents Orientation of Sound. This is going to be the hottest event of Vic Uni Orientation 2009. Featuring the Aston Shuffle Ministry of Sound DJs from Australia and ZM’s own Ministry of Sound DJ General Lee. This electro gig is going to be an awesome gig to have a mean night and dance the night away.

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  • Where To See Films in Wellington

    The Wellingtonian cinéaste is spoiled for choice. The plethora of cinemas and full calendar of festivals means that almost any night of the year somewhere in Wellington something exciting on celluloid will be happening.

    Cinemas

    The Embassy is the big monolith of the film community. Sitting at the end of Courtney Place. With its single giant screen, it usually only shows a couple of films in rotation. This amounts, most of the time, to one huge blockbuster and one smaller more indie flick, allowing you to pick and choose just how much of your brain you want to use. The seats are comfy, though way up the back it tends to get insufferably hot even in the dank depths of Wellington winter.

    Reading Cinemas further up Courtney Place is our resident mainstream multiplex. If you want chemical tinted popcorn, explosions and twelve-year-olds giggling at farts, this is your country.

    The Regent on Manners in Manners Mall is a competing mainstream picture house. Sadly, it is slowly drifting towards neglect, seeming at points almost derelict. But, you can always get a seat and private screenings where you are the only person there are not uncommon. As a gritty alternative to the slick Reading this place works.

    The Paramount at the mid-point of Courtney Place is the key art house cinema in Wellington. Running three screens, here is where the big international and festival films hit. With a wonderful café and bar attached, it’s a great place to waste an evening.

    The Empire in Island Bay and its sibling cinema The Lighthouse in Petone, are a high class alternative to the Paramount. With huge couch seats and proper food, this is boutique cinema at its most ostentatious. The prices are rather restrictively high for students, but, if someone else is paying it’s more than worth the trek. (more…)

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  • The VBC’s 2nd Birthday

    The VBC 88.3FM is your student and community radio station, broadcasting out of VUW’s Kelburn Campus to the central city and streaming on www.vbc.org.nz

    It’s been one hell of a ride since they launched the station two years ago, and they’d like you to come help celebrate their 2nd Birthday on Friday March the 6th at the Front Room, Hania St, Mt. Vic (just off Kent Tce).

    The Dead C (NZ living legends), So So Modern (Wellington’s favourite chaps) and Rory Storm and The Invaders (Dunedin-made, Wellington-found noise goodness), and it’s just $15 for everyone presale or $20 on the door! Woo hoo! (more…)

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  • About the Author ()

    Salient is a magazine. Salient is a website. Salient is an institution founded in 1938 to cater to the whim and fancy of students of Victoria University. We are partly funded by VUWSA and partly by gold bullion that was discovered under a pile of old Salients from the 40's. Salient welcomes your participation in debate on all the issues that we present to you, and if you're a student of Victoria University then you're more than welcome to drop in and have tea and scones with the contributors of this little rag in our little hideaway that overlooks Wellington.

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