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March 24, 2014 | by  | in Conspiracy Corner Opinion |
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Nuclear Zealand

One of the defining moments of New Zealand history was the establishment of the Nuclear Free Zone in 1987, which prevented nuclear weapons from entering our waters and helped establish the country’s green identity. The controversies around the enactment of the law have made Kiwis consider discussion on anything nuclear to be similarly radioactive. With viable nuclear power having a bit of recent upswing in public support globally, is our own anti-nuclear stance holding us back or saving us from catastrophe? The answer is more monstrous than you think.

Nuclear fission is so easy these days, even a child could do it. Earlier this month, American teen Taylor Wilson built a safe and completely functional compact nuclear reactor for his science fair, designed to burn up old Cold War weapons and convert their radioactive material into energy. New Zealand’s only claim to nuclear power was a reactor built in 1962 by the University of Canterbury, originally obtained from the USA’s “Atoms for Peace” program (an Orwellian name if there ever was one). It was eventually decommissioned in 1981.

Having a nuclear power plant in New Zealand in reality would be a question of logistics and safety. There is no viable location for such a plant in the country, and due to our size and sparseness of urban centres, we would simply produce more power than we would ever need. And as we learnt with Fukushima, it would be a massive risk to our environment to have a nuclear power plant in an area prone to natural disasters.

Which brings me to the conspiracy at heart, one that goes back to before New Zealand was even settled. According to Māori mythology, earthquakes are caused by the god Rūaumoko, an unborn deity that is still nestled in the womb of the Earth Mother, the “belly bump” being Mount Taranaki, from which his kicks resonate and cause the earth to shake. Should nuclear power come back to New Zealand and upset our delicate ecosystem, I believe a reciprocal attack by this godling is imminent.

The idea of giant subterranean monsters is usually dismissed today as superstition, but the ancients considered them as fact. They lived in harmony with the environment so as not to incur their wrath, a fact that has only recently been recalled today. Legendary Pictures’ upcoming documentary Godzilla is one such example, warning us that if we don’t change our nature-harming ways, we’ll soon be smelling the uranium on the breath of a 500-foot dinosaur. So please, for the love of Godzilla, go green. Incognito out.


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  1. John Cox says:

    The establishment of the Nuclear Free Zone in 1987 was not a defining moment in NZ history. It was a moment when political miscalculations by a Prime Minister led to an unintended break with the country’s allies, and the introduction of legislation to ban the former allies’ ships from the country.

    The break with the USA and UK was not popular, and was not made with the consent of the population.

    The anti-nuclear legislation did enjoy a fair degree of support, but it is neither sacrosanct nor necessary.

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