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May 11, 2014 | by  | in Bent Opinion |
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Bent

Things Cis people say

Being trans* is not easy. In fact, it is probably one of the most difficult things that one could ever go through in their life – it is something that follows you everywhere, from filling out forms to getting a medical examination. It is difficult for not only you, but for others in your life as well. As a result, sometimes they can say some really stupid shit. This is not necessarily because they’re ignorant or trying to be offensive, but may just need education. If you’re cis and have a trans* friend, or just don’t want to be ignorant, here’s a list of things not to say (or to stop saying). If you’re trans*, here are a few responses that should get the point across that this line of questioning is not okay.

The bottom line is that most trans* people are not okay with being bombarded with questions about their body, sexuality, or transition. If they want to talk to you about it, they will bring it up themselves. Not every trans* person wants to be an activist, and a lot of these people are ‘stealth’ (it is a little-known fact that they are trans*). Outing (telling random people that your friend is trans*) people is hugely dangerous – it can put their lives at risk, trigger a large range of awful feelings, can negatively impact their life both present and future, as well as having a myriad of other adverse consequences.

In short, be respectful.

Shit cis people say:

  • So how do you have sex?

  • Do you have a penis/vagina?

  • No one will you just ever love you.

  • Why can’t you just accept and love the body that you were born with?

  • You’re just a really feminine gay man/butch lesbian.

  • I miss the old you.

  • You know I’m trying, I call you the right name.

  • This is just sooo hard for me.

  • What was your birth/real/old name?

  • You should find a nice dykey girl/a femme boy.

  • You’re tearing the family apart!

Things to say in response:

  • You want to find out right now?

  • Do you?

  • At least I’ll be happy with myself and who I am.

  • My brain doesn’t match my body, and I will never be comfortable in my own skin otherwise.

  • There’s a difference between gender and sexuality.

  • The old me was never who I really was.

  • Do you want a reward for that?

  • And being trans* is so easy for me.

  • Freddie Mercury.

  • ‘cause lesbians date men/gay men date women.

  • YOU’RE TEARING ME APART, LISA (but in all seriousness, lightly suggest that they get some counselling to help them).

uniqvictoria@gmail.com

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