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Call it old-fashioned courtesy. Call it being a gentleman. Call it whatever you like. If you’re allowing your lady to cum first, you, my friend, are a prime example of the refined, exquisite gentleman of sex etiquette. Alas, many men out there refuse their lady this fine privilege. Hell, some don’t even know if their partner has cum. I get it, we’re young, and for the majority of us, sex is a self-pleasing act. But this, my dear sexed up readers, cannot go on any longer. Now I know I’m coming from a female perspective (no pun intended), but it really is shocking how many women don’t orgasm during sex.
There are many explanations as to why this doesn’t happen: the simplest being nature. Lads, when you cum, your brain releases chemicals that make you want to sleep. So, if you cum before your partner, you’re likely to drift off to sleep, leaving her sexually frustrated and your chances of getting laid again slim.
But there are other reasons. If you ask the average guy if their girl has an orgasm every time they fuck, they’ll say fuck yeah! Sadly, this is often not the case. There are statistics that show up to a massive 70 per cent of women have never had an orgasm with the person they’re currently rick-fracking with. And sadly, this is most prevalent amongst heterosexual couples.
I honestly don’t know if it’s because you simply didn’t care if she gets off or not, or you don’t know how to get her off, but, GENTLEMEN PLEASE: make your girl scream. Having sex with a woman and not allowing them to achieve an orgasm one way or another is simply selfish. So please by all means, stick that nugget of information away in your brain somewhere and let it fester. And for the love of God, use it next time you wanna bone, and make her cum. She’ll thank you for it, I promise.
Don’t stop! Talking
First things first. If you have had sex with your partner numerous times now and things haven’t been happening for her in the “O” department, you may have to face a brutal fact. You see, most women cannot achieve an orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone. That’s right lads: the classic “in-out” thing you do with your fingers that you seem to think feels great kinda sucks. Some women may need direct g-spot stimulation. Or others may require some tongue-magic or a vibration on the clitoris (yes, it does exist). I know to most men this may come off as a direct hit to your manliness or ego, but you seriously need to drop that shit. Hitting it harder or trying to drive it in there deeper is not going to work. Beating yourself up over the size and girth of your penis isn’t going to help either. You’re simply going to have to face it—your partner is going to need help. The first step in doing that is communication. Talk to her. Ask her what she likes. Ask her if she likes what you’re doing if she doesn’t know what she likes. Just ask.
Stay calm and don’t dick out!
If you can’t talk to your partner about what feels good, then forget it. You’re a lost cause. Seriously. It’s another harsh truth but one you’re going to have to face. If you seriously cannot discuss what happens in the bedroom after what just happened in the bedroom, then you my friend probably shouldn’t be fucking in the first place! Look at it this way—you just put your penis inside of her vagina. How hard can it be to actually talk to her about her orgasm, or lack thereof? So please, by all means, talk about your sexual relationships. Don’t stay quiet.
But, before you do, there are some rules.
Rule one: don’t be a dick about it. Nothing closes doors, or legs, faster. You need to just stay calm and allow her to feel safe to express her concerns. If you take personal offense to what she says, then you, my unlucky friend, just blew it, which means you won’t be blowing your load anytime soon.
Rule two: don’t be afraid to explore. If she comes back at you with certain desires and fetish that you may find weird or gross, don’t chastise her for it. Try to travel down that road of exploration together. Remember, your goal is to have a sexual experience where both parties involved have an orgasm. So if she wants you to spank her or tie her up, do it.
A tool bag is filled with dildos!
You still with me champ? Good. If you have talked to your partner, you should by now have a pretty good idea that there hasn’t been many fireworks for her in the bedroom. Hopefully you didn’t dick out and throw a fit. Hopefully you didn’t say something along the lines of “What?!?! My dick isn’t good enough for you!?!?!” Because by now I would hope you have realised that dick size doesn’t mean shit to most women.
So hopefully you talked about finding a solution. Maybe she has told you what she likes and doesn’t like. By the way, women who are reading this, listen up. If your partner is doing something you don’t like, please tell them (and for the record, this applies to ALL sexual partners). If you like something done a certain way, please tell them. Sex is a two way street after all.
Anyway, if you have come that far and have discussed what you two would like to do about it, then you are on the right track. Congrats. If she has shown signs of wanting a sex toy in the bedroom, don’t panic. Don’t lose your cool and get all jealous. Most men do and this is common. Most men see it as a replacement for their dicks. That is not the case. It’s merely a tool. Sex toys are tools of the sexiest god damn kind! Surely you wouldn’t change a tire with your dick? Or fix a leaky sink with it? Would you? Jesus, I hope not. You see my point. We all need help sometimes. We need the right tools, and for some women a dildo is the right tool for the job. Having a few in your bag is not a sign that your dick is broken. It’s a sign that you’re a guy who knows how to please his partner, and trust me, nothing is sexier. A guy who’s willing to roll up his sleeves and get down and dirty to get the job done? Dayum! Sex toys are amazing. Use one and you’ll see what I mean.
A new dawn…
To make a very long story short, my point is this guys; It is not manly or cool or whatever to just hop in and get out. Do me a favour and switch that around in your head. How would you like it if your partner left you high and dry while she went and found a towel?
Exactly, now man the fuck up and do what needs to be done fuckwise. By the way, sex toys aren’t the only solution. Like I said, communication is the only way to find what is going to work best for you.
Next time you’re gonna get freaky, think about how great it will feel after you both cum. Whether you’re in a relationship, fuck buddies or simply having a one night stand, the best sex happens when everyone is happy afterwards.
Now go my children and have some orgasm filled sex. And remember, stay safe.