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May 24, 2015 | by  | in News |
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How to Lose a Council in 10 Days

University Chancellor Sir Neville Jordan gave an interview to Radio New Zealand following his recent Dominion Post article attacking the Wellington City Council’s Long Term Plan (LTP).

Sir Neville was criticised by Stuff punters for failing to provide reasons why a stronger focus on education needed to be included in the Council’s plans.

Sir Neville’s statements can be boiled down to the following points, which appear to be lifted directly from some sort of shitty romantic comedy:

  • The University just wants the Council to talk about it more (and to spend more time with its friends).
  • They’ve been dancing around a relationship in the same city for years.
  • The Council isn’t recognising the University’s untapped potential (and like, doesn’t make the University feel special anymore).

Radio New Zealand Host Katherine Ryan was quick to point out that Sir Neville seemed “pretty steamed up about this” and rebuffed Sir Neville’s claims that his op-ed was “not a serve to the Wellington Council” (he wasn’t being mean, he just thought they should know, you know?).

Despite Ryan’s continuous attempts to identify actual recommendations for the plan from Sir Neville, the closest she got was something about “pathway programmes” between the region’s high schools and tertiary institutions.

After constantly referring to a “glaring omission” in the LTP, listeners eventually realised that Sir Neville simply wanted mentions of the word “education” in documents as a means of “setting the discourse”. (It’s like I’m hardly even here sometimes.)

Sir Neville pointed out that the Council and the University had both existed in the city for at least one hundred years, and implied that he was sick of their on-again-off-again relationship. One assumes that this sorry saga will end in some sort of climactic beach meeting between Sir Neville and the Council, in which one or both parties admit to having been “idiots”.

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