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July 12, 2015 | by  | in Bridget Bones' Diary |
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Tinder for Dummies, part I

I once spoke to a guy on Tinder using only Taylor Swift lyrics. Apparently, it’s pretty easy to seduce someone by saying “You look like my next mistake”. Another time, I got asked to have an orgy with a guy, his girlfriend, and his mate. And then there’s the time I matched with a goat. Tinder (or Grindr, whatever you kids are using) is great. It’s pretty much free soft porn and a comedy show rolled into a ball with a small-to-nonexistent chance you’ll match with someone you actually want to hook up with. Tinder’s not about finding “the one”, and it’s a shocking place to look for your next relationship, but if you’re down for some fast, easy sex, then it’s the way to go. I have a friend who swears by Tinder for hook-ups in town. She says it’s the easiest way to get free drinks, a bit of a pash, and an alright fuck if that’s what you’re into.

But Tinder can be daunting—sifting through a thousand photos, eliminating the definite no-nos, accidentally swiping right and immediately screaming NO NO NO, packing your bags and moving to Antarctica cause you’d really rather not.

Over the next two weeks I will be sharing some tips and hints for making Tinder or Grindr less cringe-worthy, and more bang-worthy. Stay tuned.

Reasons for using

A lot of people use Tinder for casual hook-ups. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s all people are using Tinder for. So, if you’re looking for a meaningful, long-term relationship, chances are you’re shit out of luck. But, there are other reasons people use Tinder. Recently there was an internet trend where people tried to get their Tinder matches to send them pizza, and it seemed to work. Free food > sex is apparently a huge thing on the dating app. And there are more reasons for using the app as well. One of my friends once said “I go on Tinder to see what my dating life could be like, I’m just too lazy to actually do anything about it”. Another one of my friends “has over 300 Tinder matches, but hasn’t been hit on in real life in months”. If you’re using Tinder, keep in mind that it’s not the be-all and end-all of the dating world. There is this glorious thing called “real life” where people actually want to date, and not just fuck, and sometimes you gotta put down your phone and meet those people.

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Editor's Pick

Ten things I wish my friends knew about being Māori

: 1). I wish my friends knew that when they ask me what “percentage” of Māori I am—half, quarter, or eighth—they make me feel like a human pie chart. I don’t know how people can ask this so nonchalantly, but they do. So I want to let you know: this is a very threatening