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August 16, 2015 | by  | in Ask Agatha |
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Ask Agatha

Q: Hi Agatha,

My flat is surrounded by a few adorable stray cats and I’ve started to feed a few of them. Once I started feeding them, they started sneaking inside and chilling on my bed. Now I’m juggling a few strays, what do I do?

Cat-niss Everdeen

Hey CE, I like my stray cats like I like my men. On a rotation where I can kick one out of bed and have another one around in half an hour. Just apply the same rules as casual sex. Don’t talk about the other cats in front of your stray-de-jour, never commit to future plans, and don’t catch feelings (or ringworm).

Play the game and enjoy having all of the strays fighting for your attention when you know you can drop them any time.

Enjoy your street urchin feline love.

Aunt Agatha

***

Q: Hi Agatha,

My girlfriend of 12 months just came out to me as post-op trans. I’m so happy that she felt comfortable enough to tell me, however I can’t help but feel a little uncomfortable that she waited an entire year to tell me! Should I confront her about how I feel uncomfortable about how long she waited or is it too trivial?

-Awkward Albert

Hey there AA,

I’m sure this was a really hard decision for her and I’m glad that you’re cool with it too. Talk to your bae about how you feel and I bet it was an issue of “Oh god I’ve waited so long to tell him already”.

So yeah, definitely talk to them about how you feel weird about them waiting a year to talk to you, because I’m sure it’ll be a non-issue!

Aunt Agatha

***

Q: Agathaaa, my boyf isn’t texting me back. How can I trick him into texting me more?

Gregarious Girlfriend.

GG, stop.

Agatha

***

Q: How much Facebook stalking is too much Facebook stalking?

-Facebook Fanboy

Hey FF, I like to think that there is no limit to how much you can Facebook stalk someone. However, if you ever wake up after a night out to a cleavage-heavy pic of that girl you went to intermediate with for a year, you may want to reassess your life choices.

Cyber stalk responsibly,

Agatha

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