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September 20, 2015 | by  | in Ask Agatha |
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Ask Agatha

Hi Agatha,

I’m a first year and want to go flatting next year, but all of my hall friends are splitting into factions and I’m feeling more lost and directionless than the Labour party. Do none of my friends like me? Am I the one that everyone tries to avoid? What can I do for next year? HELP!

Forgotten Flatmate

Hi FF,

I’m not going to sugar coat this for you. Maybe you are the one all of your friends try to avoid. Maybe you’re awful. However, maybe they just thought they’d be better suited to living with other people because they don’t want you to overhear their bowel movements or taste their terrible cooking.

You’re actually in a fun situation now of being able to slot into a flat group without any real drama. Flatmates Wanted on TradeMe has a wonderful array of weird flats all over the show, and you can ditch them if it’s not a good fit because you have no real connection to the other flatmates.

Also, don’t freak out. First years all around New Zealand put a lot of stock into where they end up flatting for their first ~real~ flatting experience. It’s probably going to be damp and shit and you’re going to love it regardless.

Good luck finding a place to call home,



Dear Agatha,

All my friends are getting super turnt and I have so many assignments to do that I could cry. I don’t want them to stop inviting me to things, but I can’t get away with drinking as much as them when I have all of this work to do. Do you have any advice?

Sober Sally.

Hey SS,

What you need to do is try and do a Hannah Montana and have the best of both worlds. I’d just fake the drinking in the meantime. Go hard. I mean people who make such a big deal out of drinking are probably half faking it themselves. So just get some soda water and some lemon and tell everyone you’ve been drinking some vodka sodas. Have a “power shower” and “pass out” super early and you’ll be able to enjoy a night with your friends, have an excuse for an extra shower, and get an early night—all without the hangover the next day.

Party hard,


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Ten things I wish my friends knew about being Māori

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