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September 20, 2015 | by  | in News |
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Hair today, gone tomorrow

VUWSA President Rick Zwaan is unhappy with his latest haircut, and has been hiding his hair beneath a beanie.

Zwaan made the revelation during a meeting with Salient last Monday. Zwaan said he got the haircut at Snips on The Terrace, but was unhappy with his new, closer-cropped look.

On Tuesday, though, he was reluctant to comment. “Fuck off,” he said. “You’re not doing a story on the fucking haircut.”

However, Zwaan eventually opened up on his anguish. “Hair is precious,” he said. “When someone cuts it, they’re cutting away a piece of you.”

Despite his general hostility to and fear of haircuts, Zwaan said that he had no plans to grow his hair out to a great length and use it as a replacement for clothes. “I don’t think that’s something I’ll be pursuing,” he said.  

Zwaan’s colleagues at VUWSA were ambivalent about the haircut.

“His haircut is on his head,” Engagement Vice-President Toby Cooper said. “There is less hair on Rick’s head than there was before his haircut.”

Cooper himself has recently had a haircut, which he described as “great”. He called on Zwaan to take a more positive attitude toward his recent shearing. “I feel like Rick hasn’t fully embraced his new haircut, as he hasn’t changed his Facebook profile picture.”

Clubs and Activities Officer Rory McNamara liked the haircut. He told Salient that it was “unbecoming of a president to wear hats inside all the time” and described Zwaan as “such a fucking hippie”.

By the time this article went to print, Zwaan said the haircut had reached the “sweet spot” where it was neither too long nor too short, and he had decided to lose the beanie.

“I really don’t care about the haircut any more, to be honest,” he said.

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