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September 13, 2015 | by  | in We Drank This So You Wouldn't Have To |
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Mac’s Green Beret (IPA)

Cost: $13/6 pack ($2.16 each!!!!!)
Alcohol Volume: 5.4% (1.4 standard drinks)
Pairing: Pam’s Cheesy Aliens chips, discount sushi

This week we drank too many beers and carried out some pretty high-level Facebook stalking. We don’t care to examine whether there is a causative link there, suffice to say that extreme caution was exercised to avoid the dreaded accidental friend request. Our deepest sympathies go out to anyone who has ever had that moment of absolute panic, followed by a hurried Googling of “how to delete a friend request”, followed by deciding that you actually wanted to move city and change your name anyway.

We don’t review beer often so this Tuesday evening was a special occasion. Of our 19 reviews this year, we’ve only reviewed one beer (Wild Buck, s/o $3 quarts from The Mill), and as it was Lydia’s favourite and a whopping 2.4 standard drinks for $3, we rated it highly. Mac’s foray into the craft(ish) beer(ish) market, the Green Beret IPA, tastes less like water than Wild Buck, but does have a more confusing name. Our best theory on the military theme of the name is something something masculinity something something patriarchy something something women drink beer too, riiight? If we had to describe this beer in four words, it would be “fucking hoppy” and “it’s beer”.

Having already been rejected for at least two jobs each this week, we decided that the best course of action was to get drunk in Mitch’s workplace and turn off the email notifications from job sites because it just hurts too much now. An unfortunate side effect of this decision was ending up on the Facebook pages of people who write columns like this shitty excuse for opinion in student magazines around the country. We are pretty that sure we looked cooler than them, but they did have less outwardly political content on their pages which probably counts in their favour to be honest.

Basically, we spent most of our time look at the Instagram of that hot guy that writes for Craccum and less time focussing on the beer. You’re welcome.

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Ten things I wish my friends knew about being Māori

: 1). I wish my friends knew that when they ask me what “percentage” of Māori I am—half, quarter, or eighth—they make me feel like a human pie chart. I don’t know how people can ask this so nonchalantly, but they do. So I want to let you know: this is a very threatening