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September 6, 2015 | by  | in We Drank This So You Wouldn't Have To |
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Osteria del Toro Mojito

Cost: $12 ~combo~
Alcohol Volume: Mostly ice and mint leaves
Pairing: gr8 porchetta in a ciabatta bun
Verdict: ★★★★ “Can we eat this with our hands? Fuck it.”

Okay, we should start with an apology. We’re slack and we’re sorry. We understand that a $12 mojito at a bar isn’t part of our “cheap booze to drink from the bottle” brief but we have our reasons. It was Wednesday, we had already missed our deadline for this magazine, and we had spent the entire day in the library trying to pass at least half of our courses to keep getting StudyLink.

You should know by now that eating food is an important part of staying alive and probably an important part of drinking in moderation and also not in moderation if that’s what is happening in your life right now. To that end, drink and food deals that make you feel like you’re saving money are a great innovation. Whether or not you’re actually pinching those pennies is beside the point―if it’s got a minor pun in the name and a jazzy poster it’s probably a good time. This one was called “Pig and Mojito” which, though lacking in creativity, should be applauded for its honesty. If you don’t know Osteria del Toro then good, because neither did we and we don’t like feeling left out. The fancy interior and vaguely European staff might have made us feel out of place but were luckily offset by the weed smoke emanating from the vaguely European backpackers next door.

Getting down to business, the mojito was good and the pork was excellent. Cocktails are a confusing time for us because they are very ice-involved and often include flavours other than “regret”. This one was nice and the rum didn’t remind us too strongly of Hope Bros so that’s a success. The bun was also good because it felt nice not eating packet food mixed with boiling water for once.

As with all things in life, these dazzling highs are often accompanied by crippling lows. For every successful pork bun on a Wednesday, you get a dozen irritated wait staff informing you that the chicken wings are only for parties over five and the beer is a half-pint (FOR SHAME). For both the good and the bad emotions at once you can go to Golding’s on Wednesday and wait ages for delicious cheap pizza to drink with your delicious expensive beer. Wellington’s hospitality scene is large, it contains multitudes.

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