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Dear Miss Demeanour,
I’m doing a degree I’m not sure I want to be doing, in a city that I’m not sure I want to be living in. I feel really overwhelmed with all of the options I’ve got, to the point of paralysis. I thought I wanted this. I wanted to want this—the higher ed, the drunken nights on Courtney Place, the uni life that was promised me in movies like Pitch Perfect. I’m a few months into my degree and I just want to move back home with my parents and crawl under my bed. Am I lame? Do I suck? I can’t even face the idea of dropping out let alone having that discussion with my parents, but I also don’t see how I can continue on with what I’m doing because I’m so miserable. Tell me what I should do.
Sleepless in Kelburn
Fuck me you’re overwhelmed by your options. Girl, the world is your motherfucking oyster, and it’s time to get shucked. You don’t like the degree you’re in, change it. IT IS POSSIBLE. Get your ass into student services and talk to a trusted advisor—surprisingly they actually know their shit and they get PAID TO HELP STUDENTS LIKE YOU. I, too, am a fan of the Pitch Perfects, even though there’s something about Anna Kendrick’s face that makes me want to kick it in, the movies are charming and also complete bullshit in the way they show what university life is like. I went to uni in the states and it ain’t like that there either! Don’t be losing your pretty head over falling for the Hollywood traps: movies are fictions and your uni years will be what you alone make of them.
So you don’t want to go to Courtney Place and walk through vomit and throngs of nasty, grabby men on a sat night? Then don’t. Stay in and host a board game night at your place. Skype your ma & pa. You seem to be putting a whole lot of pressure on yourself to fit into this preconceived mould of what uni life is supposed to be like. You do you, girl! And if that means staying in with a good book or downing a bottle of vodka with your mates and having a pillow fight (ala Pitch Perfect 2) then go ahead. You can go home to your parents too, and to be honest, I’ve been known to hide under my own goddamn desk when the going gets too tough. But you know, I always get back up again.
First year uni is hard. And not a lot of people tell you how lonely it is and just how much you miss your parents. But people get through it. And you’ll get through it too. Take some solace in knowing that you’re not alone in being scared, in not knowing if you’re pursuing the right path, in wanting to hide under the bed. All of this shit is just the beginning of what it takes to be an adult, kitten face, and hiding under a bed isn’t going to help much in the long run. It’s time to stop watching Hollywood rom-coms and really focus on what you want from this experience. The onus is on you, bae. Go on and impress yourself.