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April 17, 2016 | by  | in News |
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Fun News

*Interview* with the EY building

What’s the best part of your job?

Lighting up my spiky pigeon holders at night.

What’s the worst part of your job?

Dealing with all the fuckbois in suits who think they’re the next Harvey Specter.

So what do you actually do?

Enslave LLB/BCom graduates and hold pigeons.

How do you feel about the recent wellington earthquake?

I was already pretty shaken up about the Panama Papers so I didn’t sweat it.

Kanye West or Kendrick Lamar?

Elevator music.

 

Humdingers

A man has been sentenced to five years in prison for smuggling turtles. He was arrested with 51 turtles strapped to his legs at the Ontario border. He apparently smuggled the turtles to make money for college.

Scientists believe that STIs may have pushed early humans to monogamy. The link between the two is thought to have arisen at the dawn of the agricultural age. Perhaps Hamiltonians should take note.

 

Going up

The Spinoff

Complimentary sparkling water

The length of a VUWSA exec meeting

Winter woolies

April sunsets

 

Going down

Putting on deodorant while wearing a turtleneck

Choking and spitting out food in a restaurant

The LA Lakers now that Kobe’s gone

When Mum still hasn’t sent a care package

 

Keen to korero:

Kei runga noa atu koe (Kay rr-oonga noh-ah a-too kwe)

You are too much (as in, you’re the man/you da bomb).

 

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