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Izzy web
August 15, 2016 | by  | in Features |
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Izzy Carson

izzy

This is my apartment for another nineteen days

it’s too hot to sleep

in this small room

people tell me the temperature in fahrenheit and I convert it to celsius on my phone

I leave my bedroom door open and turn on the fan at night

.

I think it’s important to find something sacred in your normal spaces, the everyday architecture of your life

it’s like when you visit a museum or a cathedral

the hush that comes over you as you feel so small but like there is so much significance in your presence, in your history, in the history of this place

I like these precious moments in my room, finding things hidden

the past things and the things we end up leaving behind

.

This is my third home in four months

there are holes in the wall from absent paintings or photographs hung in a previous tenancy, little punctuation marks; full stops

wavy brush strokes of mismatched paint

someone’s smudged fingerprints on the doorframe, a reminder of bodies that have slept where I am trying to sleep now

there is a tiny metal pin in the shape of an angel that landed on the floor as I moved a chest of drawers

it’s gold

and sharp, if I had stepped on it I would have hurt myself

but I heard it fall and so I put it back

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Ten things I wish my friends knew about being Māori

: 1). I wish my friends knew that when they ask me what “percentage” of Māori I am—half, quarter, or eighth—they make me feel like a human pie chart. I don’t know how people can ask this so nonchalantly, but they do. So I want to let you know: this is a very threatening