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Bodies are bloody weird lil things that are also so great. Our bodies are these freaky lil machines that have the potential for so much pain, and so much pleasure—and sometimes, a beautiful symphony of the two.
Knowing your body is just as important as knowing your mind. Knowing what you like and how you like it are two key ingredients to fun sexy times. It’s good to get a handle on how you like to masturbate, to know how you like your nipples pinched, or your balls cupped, to know what turns you on and knowing how fast and slow or mixed-up you like things. Not everyone has enough experience to know exactly what they like, especially without trying things first. You don’t know what you’re gonna love until you try it, but most of the time you get a pretty good idea of what you hate. And this changes. If you want something: ask for it. Too often it can feel like you’re being fucked by a loaf of bread. So take matters into your hands and tell your bonking-boos what you like and what you don’t like. And ALWAYS feel welcome to say no and GTFO.
Use noises: If you’re too shy, and don’t want to ruin the vibes with straight talking, then making noises really helps. Eg. moan / groan / grunt / scream-like-crazy if it’s good, and stay silent if it’s not doing the trick. You’ve got a moan-barometer.
Use your hands / feet etc: If someone gets their hands or elbows involved where you’re not so keen for them to go, use yours to take theirs away. And lead with your hands—shove your crotch into their mouth if you want them to lick harder, grab their head if you want them to suck faster, and pull them in if you want them to fuck you harder. Conversely, if someone is doing something you really hate, stop. Just stop. Remove yourself and tell them why.
Say Something: It’s all too easy to say “ugh I hate when you do that,” so try to avoid this. Being critical when you’re both splayed out, bits akimbo, fluids everywhere, is just too harsh. Not to mention a mood kill. But you know your body, so suggest something else. Ask for your partner to change rhythm, to go softer or hard, or to change position entirely. Use code words. Or use toys as a distraction technique, or to give them a hand.