A lot of my friends have been dealing with dudes who have totally misread their friendship as something romantic, and it’s frustrating to no end. As someone who is Really Queer™, I have very little experience in this field, so I’ve been asking the badass women in my life about how they deal with it. Here are a few examples they’ve given me.
The dog handler:
You put your hand out, give a firm growl of “GET OUT OF IT.” He responds with his tail between his legs, probably calls you a bitch, and you don’t talk again.
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You ask him, point blank, if he’s interested in you. No matter the response, likely to be awkward—but this is probably the clearest option and will hopefully ~sort things out~.
You get angry that men only see women as sex objects and ignore him. Your feminist ranting increases exponentially. He likely gets confused and sad, poor bub.
The “we’re just friends”:
You tell him “Oi mate, we’re just friends, I don’t want this.” He responds by denying any feelings, usually. This option, while solid, panders to the male ego a bit too much and gives them opportunity for denial. Which invariably makes you feel like you’re over-reacting a bit.
The condescending Mum:
You tell him “Oh sweetie, you’re such a brogressive. I expected better of you.” Express how disappointed you are in him and men in general. He ignores you, most likely.
You write an entire Salient column about men making something from nothing to vent (sorry dude, you’re great).
Always remember that you don’t owe men shit.