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March 13, 2017 | by  | in Tinder Surprise |
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Tinder Surprise

Things seem to be heating up in our little ol’ city of Wellington, and I’m not just talking about the weather ;)

Therefore, you all clearly need to be keeping up with this column where every fortnight I cover all things sex and casual dating. To start, I’ll give some really lame (but important) advice for all you horny peeps out there.

ADVICE #1

Use bloody condoms m8 – keep your genital health like super good and stuff! Especially if you are having lots of casual, non-monogamous, non-exclusive sex, and aren’t on birth control.

ADVICE #2

If you aren’t already, it’s pretty legit to sign up at Student Health so if you accidentally don’t use a condom you can easily get your crotch health checked up. It’s free and easy (I had like eight STD checks last year and they’re chill about it).

ADVICE #3

If you’re a straight hetero dude, make sure the chick cums first and she might actually meet up next time. The earlier you can master the clit and G-spot, the better in my opinion.

ADVICE #4

It’s so normal to find casual dating and sex disappointing and it can, in my humble experience, fuck with your feelings too! Just know that it’s not you — it’s probably them, and friends can be better than a weak-ass orgasm anyway.

ADVICE #5

Don’t ghost people! If you have had sex or have been hanging out for over two weeks or anything similar — it’s nice to let people know you aren’t interested any more, or would like to leave things at that, rather than just flat out ignore them if they’re trying to contact you.

 

Okay, I won’t bore you any more with this highly condescending advice, and wish you all the best on your sexual endeavours.

Much intimacy,

Xoxo

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