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April 3, 2017 | by  | in Politics |
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The Trump Front

Although our old friend Trumpster and his problematic offspring have been wreaking their usual havoc (see: Ivanka getting her own office in the White House despite having no official role in the 45th Administration, Eric Trump letting it slip that he’ll give his dear old dad quarterly business updates from Trump HQ, and Donald Jr. offensively tweeting London’s Mayor following the terrorist attacks last week), one story eclipses it all: Trump’s failure to repeal Obamacare after his replacement American Health Care Act (AHCA) got pulled from the House floor last Friday.

If you didn’t know, here’s the basic rundown of the events leading up to Don-Don’s epic failure number two-hundred-and-eighty-seven. Obamacare, known technically as the Affordable Care Act (ACA), was signed into law by Obama in 2010. Its aim was to essentially make insurance and healthcare more affordable, and required that all insurance applicants be charged the same rates regardless of pre-existing medical conditions, or of sex.

Now, the whinging Republicans across the bench did not like Obamacare one bit, and have pushed for over 60 unsuccessful Congressional votes to get rid of it. And if you didn’t hear (you obviously did), Trump himself ran on the election promise that he would repeal and replace the ACA. The key reasoning behind Republicans distaste for Obamacare is stated to be “ideologically based,” also know as, “we’re going to use the historically classist party line to justify why rich, white people should be the only ones who can afford to go to the doctor.” Without getting super boring, conservatives/those on the right believe in small government, and are anti-state intervention. So, Obamacare, which is essentially an initiative to socialise medical care and make health insurance affordable for ALL Americans, did NOT fit with the Republican way-of-life at all.

Republicans have spent the last eight years moaning about how terrible Obamacare is, and have consistently yapped on about when and how they’re going to repeal it once a Republican sits in the White House. Well, this chance (obviously) arose on January 20, and those shady little Republicans had been scurrying around trying to come up with a replacement bill ever since. In an effort headed by literally the most boring person in the world, Speaker of the House Paul “I donated $2 to charity in 1989, please give me a medal” Ryan, low and behold, the AHCA was introduced. There was only one little problem: it was an actual piece of garbage. A child with a crayon and a stethoscope probably would have done a better job. Again, without trying to put the four readers of this column to sleep (one of those being my mum), this proposed AHCA would have led to an estimated 24 million Americans going uninsured, while simultaneously ensuring that the richest 1% would get millions of dollars in tax cuts.

Luckily, those cheeky Democrats didn’t let the wool be pulled over their eyes, and when the Republicans (namely that muttonhead Ryan) realised that they weren’t going to get the votes to pass the bill, they yanked it from the floor. Of course, this whole predicament couldn’t be concluded without an obscure, overly capitalised tweet from the boss himself: “ObamaCare will explode and we will all get together and piece together a great healthcare plan for THE PEOPLE. Do not worry!”Trump, March 25.

You keep telling yourself that buddy, whatever gets you to sleep at night.

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