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May 29, 2017 | by  | in The Queer Agenda |
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The Queer Agenda

Those of us on the rainbow spectrum use a lot of terms to describe our gender identities that can be confusing. Nonbinary. Agender. Genderqueer. Androgyne. Transfeminine. And so on. Today, I’m hoping to shed some light on genderfluidity.

Firstly, it’s necessary to narrow down exactly what we mean by “gender identity.” It’s not: what you like, what you wear, how you present yourself, and definitely not what your body looks like. Your gender identity is simply the core part of you that says “I am X.”

Most of us have a fairly static gender identity, whether or not it matches our sex. A cis woman may feel more “girly” one day, and more tomboyish on another. However, a core part of her would still feel comfortable saying “I am a woman.” Since she doesn’t cross the usually observed male/female boundary, people take little notice of her feelings of “I am” on a given day.

Some people, however, experience more variability than that — their core “I am…” changes more noticeably. How it changes, how fast, and to what extent depends on the person. One may feel female one day and genderless another. They may cycle day-by-day, quicker, or slower. Some people change the way they act, others may not.

There are many portrayals of genderfluid people as indecisive. I’ve heard more than one cry of “political correctness gone too far” and “that’s so stupid!” It is a new concept for a lot of people, and can be difficult to grasp, but immediately decrying it is hurtful to the many people who feel this way and are just trying to live authentically.

If a friend comes out as genderfluid, the best thing you can do is be supportive! Respect them for being brave enough to live authentically. Ask about their name, their pronouns, and remember that they are the same awesome person you’ve always known!

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